Ordinary (BoyXBoy)

 “Shh. Don't think, just feel.” I nodded my head as I felt his mouth on my neck. His breath on my skin, almost toxic.

“Don't be afraid. Just touch me.”

And I did.

I'd like to think that being me is actually really, really, easy. I'm not compelled to say that I have a super brain or that I'm a superstar at sports. All my life, I haven't been really good at anything. When people say that they are proud of who they are, I begin to wonder about me and why I am not proud of who I am. I don't get that feeling. That feeling of knowing that you, essentially, love something about yourself. It's easy being me, because you aren't special.

In the eighth grade, my dad caught my mom cheating on him, so we left. We packed up and moved to a big city and hid there. Before we walked out of the door my mom had said something. She said, “Fine. Take him. It's not like he's worth anything actually anyways. He's useless. He's just dead weight.”

I can still feel her cold blue eyes staring at me.

My dad ushered me out and we moved. I never saw her again.

I started school and I made friends. Just friends, not best friends and definitely not relationships of the sexy kind. I guess girls didn't like me, because I wasn't striking. I didn't have what other guys had. I couldn't play the guitar, like Cameron. I couldn't sing, like Marcus. I wasn't into sports, like Alex. I wasn't handsome, like Zack. I was, just, kind of... Normal. I had brown hair and brown eyes and I just wasn't enough for the girls to like me.

But that really didn't matter, because I was gay.

If you really looked at me, you'd probably see a really skinny kid with long limbs, sort of gawky, and, really, really shy. I guess, though, I hadn't expected any of that to change. I hadn't expected fireworks or infernos my third year in high school. I felt like it was going to be a normal year, with the same people and the same drama. I hadn't expected to meet him. I, certainly, hadn't expected to feel... what I felt.

He sort of changed me that way.

It wasn't at school. It was in the park. Jessie had called me up to help her babysit. I was bored that day and I liked kids. When I got there Jesse introduced me to the kids. They were adorable and instantly made me feel welcomed. They played for a little bit, while we watched them.

When, suddenly, I felt eyes watching me.

I turned around and saw a guy. He was the same height as me. He met my eyes and smiled. I smiled back and waved. He waved back. He had black hair and green eyes. He was wearing the brightest yellow pants and a band tee. He was nothing like me. He was spectacular.

I was tackled by one of the kids and our eyes broke contact. But for the rest of the time at the park I couldn't get his gaze out of my head.

I officially met him at school.

It was in the library, of all places. I was shifting through the books, looking for the some romance novels to read, when I felt a body next to me. I turned and I was met with green eyes.

The most familiar green eyes.

“Hi.” He said with an airy voice. It was light and, he was so close, it washed over me. Up close, he was beautiful. I felt so ordinary compared to him.

“Hey.” I said, trying not to sound breathless.

“What's your name?” He asked me and smiled, so bright.

“Franklin.” I said. He smiled brighter. “Yours?”

“Ryder.” He spoke with confidence. I smiled.

“So what are you looking for?” He broke our gaze to stare at the shelves.

“Umm, I really have no clue.” I was an idiot, when it came to human contact.

He bit his lip in concentration. “Well, I suggest reading The Great Gatsby. You're probably going to read it this year, but, uhh, it's better to read it, without a teacher breathing down your neck.” He said sheepishly. I scanned the books and picked up the battered copy the library had.

I didn't expect to become best friends in a couple weeks.

I didn't expect to come out to each other at the same time.

I didn't expect to be going on dates with him.

I didn't expect fireworks in the middle of June.

Ryder and I were inseparable. Ever since we had met each other in the beginning of the year, we were stuck with each other. Ryder was a bird. Bright and expressive, flying and free. I was human. Normal and boring human. But Ryder made me something more. I didn't know how, but he did.

It was on a Tuesday. Ryder had come over and we were lounging on my bed listening to music. The music was thrumming through me and I felt Ryder slide next to me. His lips then were on mine.

We had kissed before, chaste and sweet, and we had made out, hot and burning, but I had never felt Ryder like this. It was almost more. More thrumming. More feeling. More. Just more. Ryder's lips were pressed against mine, when I felt his tongue dip. It was on mine, then. It was familiar. More familiar, then Ryder suddenly being on top of me. I gasped for breath, when his mouth wasn't on mine but on my neck. Little chaste kisses, but ones that sent shocks through my body. His tongue on my skin, the feel of his hips on my body.

“Shh. Don't think, just feel.” I nodded my head as I felt his mouth on my neck. His breath on my skin, almost toxic.

“Don't be afraid. Just touch me.”

And I did.

I reached my hands up and trudged off his shirt. Ryder smiled and I lifted up taking off my shirt as well. I gripped his back and I touched. I felt his thrumming heartbeat and his breath. So very close, so near me.

Ryder's hands, his touch, his everything made me feel alive. Made me feel like I was more than human. Like I was a bird like him. Alive and free. Ryder wasn't ordinary, he was extraordinary. And maybe, just maybe, I could be extraordinary. But for right then and there, in that moment, Ryder made me feel like maybe being ordinary, being normal, was okay.