Help Me

Chapter 36: Confessions

•••Unedited•••

Riley's POV

I could not get a wink of sleep. Even though Ashton was cuddled next to me, I couldn't bring myself to close my eyes and relax.

I didn't want to wake Ashton up by moving too much, so I stayed as still as I could. I turned my head slightly to check the time. It said 11:41 pm.

I groaned softly and stared blankly at the ceiling. I sat up, the covers pooling around my waist. I ran my hand through my hair a couple times and went up to the bathroom. I splashed my face with cold water and patted my face dry with a towel.

I went back to the bed and saw Ashton looking around frantically. When he saw me, his facial features relaxed.

"Sorry if I woke you up." I apologized, sitting on the bed next to him.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to his side. "It's fine. Is something wrong?"

I looked at him with a soft smile. "How'd you know?"

"It's written all over your face." He kissed my cheek. "So what's bothering you?"

I unconsciously traced patterns on his arm. "You know," I started, "my past isn't such a good one. If you want to leave me after this, go ahead. No one wants to carry an extra baggage."

"I would never leave you, Riley." He said softly.

"I just hope you're right." I said before diving into my story. "Everything was normal. Normal people, normal social life, normal family. That is until six years ago, when my mother was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors couldn't save her in time and she died. During the time when she was alive, my dad was one of the best dads in the world. The best dad a ten year old could get. When my mother was in treatment, Spencer and I would hear him crying in his room. When the doctors told us that my mother was dying, he turned to alcohol. Spencer tried making him quit, but my dad would just yell at him."

My bottom lip trembled and my eyes became glassy. "As my mother slowly died, my father went to the hospital less frequently. He slowly became abusive to me and Spencer was my only protector. We would often go to the hospital to visit my mother, but when she died we couldn't go to a safe place anymore. My dad would lock himself in his room for days and only come out for food or to get alcohol. If he ever caught me alone, he'd just.... hit me until Spencer comes back from school."

A tear balanced on my eyelash, threatening to spill. I quickly wiped it away, not wanting Ashton to see me in a pathetic state. His arms tightened around me and he kissed my temple. "You don't have to continue, if you don't want to."

I shook my head. I have to tell him, to get this off my chest. "Two years ago, Spencer and I were walking in the park because my dad went to drink beer with his friends. He went to get me ice cream from the store near by but I wandered into an alleyway- I still have no idea how I got there. I didn't know anyone back then so when I saw Ben, I was terrified. He was drunk out of his mind and he slurred his words. He tried to r-rape me-"

"What!" Ashton was about to jump out of the bed but I put a hand on his leg, stopping him.

"Wait. You haven't let me finish." I said firmly. He reluctantly eased back onto the bed and brought me back to his chest, his arms circled protectively around me.

"Spencer found Ben cornering me and he lunged at him. Spencer was winning when these other guys came. Spencer yelled at me to run home and I did. I knew I shouldn't have but I was too scared to think. I waited all night for Spencer to knock on my door and tell me that he was safe. He never came home. I began searching for him whenever I could. I gave up after nine months of searching. Then, after much moving, I joined Kingston High."