Never Thought I'd Turn To You (On Hold)

Never Thought I'd Turn To You

As I walked into my familiar maths classroom I could feel every set of eyes turn on me. Self-consciously I bowed my head towards the floor so nobody could see my teary eyes.

“Sorry I’m late Miss Cook.” I mumbled hurrying to my seat; luckily I sat in the middle which meant only half of the class could see my face. If I had sat near the back I would have been doomed. 

“It’s fine at least you showed up.” She smiled making me feel a flicker of warmth inside. Miss Cook was the best teacher I’d ever known because no matter what our class would listen to her. I wasn’t really sure why; maybe it was because she was respected but it certainly wasn’t because she was scary. It was like she was also our friend though, not just a teacher, we could turn to her with any problem we had and she would willingly help. But I knew I couldn’t turn to her; not with this.

The boy sitting next to me was called Matthew; he was a popular which normally would say it all. My best friend and I had a theory; at the top of a chart was the populars. Every popular is stunning but horrible; they’re personality almost always is there downfall. Further down the chart was the wannabes they had the average looks and personalities. And at the bottom was my friends and I aka the nerds, the ugly people but with they were nice people. 

Anyway back to Matthew; he wasn’t your average popular. Yes he was undoubtedly good looking but he was a great person too. We had met when we were three years old and had been friends until we were nine when we arrived at middle school. It was like unspoken of code that at middle school the boys and girls were separate and you couldn’t hang out with them. It was our first year of high school now, year 9, and we only saw each other in maths. But when we did see each other it was the simple ‘hi’ and not even a ‘how are you today?’ 

Today didn’t seem like any exception until we started the work and it seemed too hard to hide my tears. As I reached over to turn the book to the right page a tear escaped by eye and fell onto my exercise book.

“Hey Emily, why are you crying?” Matthew almost shouted.

“Shh!” I hissed. I nervously looked around to make sure no one had heard and lucky for me our class would loud today.

“What, why?” He didn’t understand; dumb boy.

“I don’t want people to know I’m upset.” I whispered.

“Why?” He whispered back, leaning in towards me.

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“Yes it does your upset.” He was getting a little too loud now.

“Look I’m sorry yeah, but it’s really none of your business.” I was really confused why he was taking an interest since we only ever spoke about maths these days.

“But I want to help.” His eyes looked sincere but I couldn’t trust him with this secret.

“No you just want to be the one who gets to spread all the rumours about me.” I’d never snapped at him but after my awful past with rumour I couldn’t help myself.

“That’s not true.” He seemed upset that I would ever think that of him.

“I guess I know that, but you’re really not the person I’d like to tell first.” I sighed.

“Who will you tell first?” I sighed again no knowing my answer.

“I have no idea.” I suddenly felt a hard kick on the back of the chair signalling my best friend needed my attention. I turned around and saw her smile slip away.

“What’s wrong with my Em?” She said sympathetically.

“Nothing!” I snapped quickly turning back to the front. 

“Hey Em, I’m only trying to help here.” 

“Well I can’t deal with it right now Mandy.” I muttered back.

“Amanda stop talking back there.” Miss Cook said when she had finally got the class to settle down.

“Yes miss.” Mandy mumbled. I went the rest of the class with Matthew and Mandy annoying me until I was ready to snap. 

“Please tell me, I’m worried.” Matthew said.

“Why would you be worried we barely know each other?”

“We’ve know each other since we were three years old.” 

“And?” I knew I was going to lose this fight but I only had five minutes left so I just had to hang on a little longer. “I’ve had a bad enough day already without you doing this to me okay?” 

“I’m worried; all I want to do is help you. If someone has hurt you I want to know who and what they did. I just want to know you’re all right.” He sighed and started packing his things away when I realised something. I could really use a friend. 

“Bike shed at half twelve.” I said before rushing out the door.

I knew why I was doing this but as the day continued I started to question my actions. Someone had to know even if I wasn’t going to tell them the whole story; I had to confide in someone. Even if that someone wasn’t someone I was close to because I could see the benefit in this. Like why they have therapists, people who you aren’t close to are the more likely people to understand because they won’t judge you on your past actions.

Matthew seemed like the perfect person to tell; he never made fun of me because of my rumours; he never said a bad word to me; he didn’t seem like the type to tell and he would know what to do.

It ended up being 12o’clock a lot faster than I had hoped; I quickly got my food with Mandy then sat at our table. I dug into my crisps trying to eat fast so I could make it to the bike shed on time; I’d picked the bike shed because it was remote and nobody ever paid attention to it. 

“You’re in a hurry Em.” Jess my other best friend said.

“Yeah I have to um-do some homework.” I hadn’t thought about what I’d tell my friends.

“I’ll come with you if you want; I need to go to the design studio to do my art.” Bailey smiled, she was Jess’ best friend really but we were all best friends really.

“No I need to go to the library to do research as well.” I smiled sweetly back.

“Oh that’s fine.” I knew Mandy would offer to come with me, she jumped at any chance to get a new book so I quickly got my things and left.

“Bye, I’ll see you next lesson Bails.” 

As I rounded the corner I saw him sitting there looking peaceful yet worried. I wondered what he was doing there since it was only quarter past but I smiled and walked over anyway.

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Hey,

      This is my new story and I don't usually write things like this. Since I'm writing three stories this one will be my thrid priority. 

Please comment, fan, vote, private message, send me ideas for cover, cast and please read my other stories; seeder grove private school for boys and Parentless. 

It means everything.

UPDATE; probably Friday?

Georgia