Sunlight - Twilight Parody (1.5)

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Chapter 1.5:

I let out a yawn and plonked my ass down into the chair I was assigned to. I groaned at the itchy material that rubbed against my back. I hated plane trips! They were boring, they were annoying – wait was I describing myself here? No wonder why no one had wanted to hang out with me…oh god I was a plane trip!

Just as I begun to get upset my nose turned up, a disgusting odor had filled the plane. I took a giant whiff and had regretted it immediately; I decided that the best way to overcome this odor was to turn to see what had caused it.

“Ew,” I dry reached and quickly turned back around. Maybe turning around wasn’t the best idea, it was at the top of the list next to taking that giant whiff earlier. A child around 6 or 7 had been vomiting all over his mother, whom was just three rows behind where I had been sitting. This has got to be the worst flight that I had ever experienced.

I was choking on the air around me; nobody else seemed to have noticed that the air had been polluted with an awful smell. The child had now begun to cry and the man on the conflicting side of the corridor was in hysterics from the vomit that had splatted over his expensive looking suit. I really wished we could’ve taken off there and then, but I guess we had been waiting on more than half of the passengers.

I sighed and looked out the little window, I noticed that the sky had begun to darken and was continually getting worse. Hopefully the flight would get cancelled – actually that would’ve been the worst since my mother would have made me stay at the airport until the next flight was available, even if that meant staying there overnight.

Stupid mum and her stupid boyfriend! It was unfair that they got to travel to such interesting and exciting places all over the world while I got stuck living in Spoons. I began to kick the chair in front of me out of anger – stupid, stupid, stupid!

“Do you mind young lady?” An old woman’s voice hovered from over the chair.

I looked up and saw a posh looking elderly woman glaring down at me.

“Sorry I thought the chair was empty,” I replied nervously.

How dare you lie to me you…you little brat,” She spat at me.

I nearly vomited at the sight of a chunky piece of chewed up broccoli flying at my face. I let out a squeal as it landed on my face with a splat. I flicked it off my cheek and shook my head.

I didn’t mean it…honest,” I sighed.

“I have never come across someone as rude as you!”

“I’ll show you rude,” I yelled at her and continued to kick her chair…extra hard. Stupid (kick) old (kick) hag (kick).

Okay, so the kicking didn’t last long; the old bitch dobbed me in. I couldn’t believe that she, an old lady would be such a dibber-dobber. One of the airhostesses ‘nicely’ – in her words – told me that if I didn’t stop I would’ve been thrown off the plane. So I had to stop or cop shit from my mother who wasn’t fond of my company. Seriously, what kind of mother takes her daughter away from her father even though she can’t stand her child? Obviously my mother didn’t think that plan through well enough.

I sighed and continued to stare out the window waiting for take-off; I had blocked myself off from the world yet stilled managed to keep an ear open for the gossip that was floating around the cabin. Apparently the woman who had sat behind me was pregnant with her husband’s brother’s child and was flying to Spoons to tell her brother-in-law. The old hag in  front of me was heading to her sisters funeral – should have been her funeral I say – and somewhere on the plane a man had been arguing with the airhostesses over him needing two seats but where his ticket was appointing him there was only one seat available.

Great, is all that I could think at the time. I couldn’t believe that I had to be stuck on the plane with some of the worst passengers ever – this was not including me, so that is saying something. I let out another sigh and begun to tap a tune on the window, I was hoping it was going to break and I would finally get some fresh air. Just as I had got to the chorus I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Uh, so I can’t even tap on the window.” I was annoyed that the old hag had kept getting me into trouble for nothing.

I turned around and noticed it wasn’t the blonde bimbo of the air hostess.

“Excuse me?” A large man – most likely the one arguing with the staff early – stood in front of me with a confused and angry look on his face.

“Nothing,” I said muffled. “I thought you were the bloody annoying air hostess.”

“I know what you mean.” He laughed, “they are so rude.”

I didn’t want to be rude so I just let a small smile spread across my face.

“Can I sit here?” He had asked curiously looking at the two empty seats next to me.

“Sure,” I said out of sympathy. I didn’t really want him sitting next to me – but hey I don’t think many people would want to sit next to me either. “Take a seat,” or two! I said the last part in my head to not sound rude. I had grabbed my carryon luggage and placed it at my feet.

My nose was runny so I took a big sniff and regretted it instantly. His BO had stunk more than a skunk...it was a mixture of (sniff) dog shit and (sniff) mouldy cheese. I felt sick all of a sudden.

“Thanks,” he smiled and took the two seats. “I’m Henry,” he introduced himself and stretched his hand out.

I hesitated at first but then took his sweaty palm and shook it, “Bella.”

Yes, this was going to be a long trip…

The story ad on the side was made by the lovely StupidAndProud. Thank you it is amazingAs you all know this was re-written in past tense. Ha ha ha it isn’t that good so just bear with the fact that it was something I wrote out of boredom.

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