Phil Is Not On Fire

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Thank you all for the votes and comments I do love each of you even if it takes me a while to reply, you see us internet people are incredibly lazy and sometimes even love can't override the desire to procrastinate.  

“My pay pall is AmazingPhil@Gmail.com” 

And that’s where the camera cut out. Dan not knowing quite what to say and Phil grinning into the now dead camera lens like a fool, clearly not noticing the lack of flashing red that signifies the hunk of junk actually recording. 

“I think it’s dead” Says Dan.

Introducing Danisnotonfire sensational Internet personality of nearly a year and procrastinating delinquent of nineteen years. 

“Oh” Says Phil 

AmazingPhil; one of YouTube’s biggest stars since 2006 and long time lion lover. 

“Yeah” Says Dan 

Phil blinks slowly as if he is having trouble processing this information and Dan haves a sigh before getting up to hit the camera a bit like the mechanic that he is. 

“Yeah” he says again after a minute or two of considering “I think it’s broken” 

Now Dan is not exactly what he or anyone else would call an electrician, or a handy man (well maybe a few have called him that nudge nudge wink wink say no more know what I mean?) but he does know that when something isn’t lit up, or whizzing, or vrooming, if hitting it doesn’t make it do it’s said purpose, then the thing is probably broken. Or not plugged in at the wall. 

“Oh” Says Phil

“Yeah” says Dan

“Internet?” Says Phil

“Yeah” Says Dan

There was probably some kind of wise man alive at some point that said “When all else fails, turn swiftly to the internet” It is this man that Dan quotes now. 

“Ha Ha” Says Phil and they both manoeuvre over to the laptop.

Dan makes a point of never having the MacBook far away, or turned off, or logged out. So it irks him a little when the lid is down and the power cord is missing. 

“Huh” He says, flipping open the lid to reveal a black very turned off (shut up) screen. “Huh” he says again fumbling to find the on button quick enough. 

The laptop, being the infuriating and probably sadistic little sod that it is, doesn’t turn on. Phil makes some kind of joke about Dan not being able to turn on even inanimate objects and Dan doesn’t listen because there is a more pressing issue at hand and he does not care that Phil’s picking at his insecurities again because no computer equals no internet equals no life. 

“Phil, I don’t want to worry you or anything” Dan begins, closing the lap top screen slowly. It is very important he goes about this in the right way, he doesn’t want Phil to freak out but this is sensitive shit. “But” Dan continues “It would appear the laptop wont turn on” 

Phil cocks his head slightly, his blue eyes watery and wide. Dan doesn’t know why he has never noticed how pretty his friend’s eyes are before, but he suddenly feels a rush of Bella shoot through him and he realises that Phil, just maybe, could be his Jacob (Because screw Team Edward, Jacob is hot and native American fuck yes). 

“What?” Phil asks and a little heart brokenly, Dan thinks.

Dan cups Phil’s face delicately and revels in how baby smooth Phil’s skin is “The-the computer it” he fins himself stuttering, suddenly overwhelmed by even Phil’s presence. The way he’s looking at him, it’s like nothing Dan has ever felt before. “I think it’s broken” Dan finishes lamely, looking down and away from Phil’s tantalizing gaze. 

“That’s okay” Phil’s voice is the steady calm before a storm and it sends a shiver down Dan’s spine “I have another idea, for what we could do” Phil grins slyly and moves so that he is closer to Dan

The moment is everything that Dan never dared to dream of and more, this moment is greater than that totally awesome bit in Kick Ass where Hit Girl is all like Kill! Kill! Kill! To I don’t give a damn about my bad reputation and Dan doesn’t want to ever stop feeling this way

“Phil, I never knew,” he sounds breathless, unsure of himself and suddenly Dan is thirteen all over again, dealing with girls and kissing and not knowing where to put his hands. 

“That’s okay” Phil murmurs, his voice has dropped again and his face is closer than before, his eyes still that intense, watery blue.

Dan finds himself blushing and is forced to look down from Phil’s face and to rest his eyes on his lap. Phil presses on further moving forward with moves Dan didn’t even know Phil had. 

Dan tries to speak but Phil interrupts him with a “Shush, don’t talk now, just be” 

Then he pulls on Dan’s hair a little as he moves in quickly becoming an actual lion and ripping out Dan’s throat, killing him instantly.

The End. 

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