Guilt Trip

Why don't you die and set me free

You've been so sick so long

Oh God, don't listen to my rant,

It feels so very wrong

I love my mother, father, child

My husband's mother too

My wife's father's flat out now

With more than just the flu

When I first found out s/he was sick

It scared me to my toes

How can this strong and stalwart life

Dissolve to one of those

You know the ones I'm thinking of

Who used to be so strong

Now morphing here before my eyes

So weak and not here long

When symptoms first crashed on the scene

Our terror held us firm

We vowed to be there every day

To fight this vile germ

It's weekly trips and often more

We built our lives around

To the treatments they need most

Advances sure astound

The doctors driving death away

Like magic, gloom clouds part

And visits spreading farther out

Than they were at the start

They'll never be what they once were

So strong and so alive

I chose to obligate myself

While they might still survive

Now is the time in long term care

When darker thoughts creep in

When pressing life, my own and theirs

Make feelings seem a sin

And then I call a friend of mine

To rant and cry my pain

I dump out all my fear and shame

'Til I am free again

Richard Higley © June 2012