I leaned toward the front seat, where my best friend, Kyle, sat. "Kyle, are we going to be there soon, I'm hungry." I whined.
Kyle laughed at my immaturity. "Almost there Krysten."
My seatbelt jerked me backward as we stopped, abruptly at a stoplight.
"You're a terrible driver, Kyle."
He flashed me his perfect smile, "You love me anyway."
I did. But not the way that he meant it, not just as a friend. I'd know him forever, since elementary school. I'd always felt differently about him than I had about anyone else, but it had taken me until last year to admit to my self that I was in love with him.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Kyle asked.
I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. "Green light," I said, pointing at the traffic light.
Kyle pressed his foot to the gas, and I suddenly caught sight of an eighteen wheeler, hurtling toward the driver's side of the car at an alarming speed.
Time slowed down and everything became startlingly clear. We were going to die today. And Kyle would never know how I felt.
There was a sickening crunch as the semi collided with our small car. The car began to flip and everything spun around me.
I heard an ear splitting shriek and realized that I was screaming.
Then everything went black.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I woke up to someone yelling out orders. "Get him stable, then get the girl out!"
I was lying on my side, still held fast to my seat by my seat belt. I unbuckled and winced as pain seared through my wrist. I lay there for a moment, taking in my surroundings. The windows were shattered, a thin layer of broken glass coating everything. The hood of the car was mangled. But worst of all, Kyle was nowhere to be seen.
"Kyle!" I tried to call for him, but my throat was dry and nothing but a croak came out.
I gathered all of my energy, and began to drag myself slowly out of the car and into an upright position. There was an ambulance about 20 feet away, its door open, a stretcher inside, along with an EMT.
Another EMT ran over to where I was sitting. "Ma'am, are you alright?"
I nodded.
"Okay, sit tight, I'm going to go get a stretcher and a neck brace for you. I need you to stay here, very still."
I finally found my voice, "I need Kyle."
The EMT turned back around, "We're taking really good care of the young man found in the car with you."
"I need to see him." I said, attempting to stand.
"I can't allow that ma'am."
"Yes, you can." I insisted.
The EMT sighed and looked around before helping me to my feet and practically carrying me over to the ambulance.
Kyle lay atop the stretcher, blood pouring from a deep gash in his head. His arms were covered in scrapes and abrasions.
I froze. Seeing him like this hurt me, it felt as if a large hand was squeezing my heart.
The EMTs stood in the corner, whispering, their heads close together.
"He's not going to make it, if we don't get him a blood transfusion. And I think that one of his lungs is going to collapse if it hasn't already."
I gasped and sank slowly to the floor, tears falling from my eyes rapidly.
The back doors of the ambulance slammed shut, the sirens turned on, and we sped to the hospital.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I stood over Kyle's hospital bed, holding his hand. He was absolutely still with the exception of his eyelids. They fluttered every couple of minutes, as if he was dreaming.
There was a steady beeping of the heart monitor that kept careful track of Kyle's heartbeats. After a while, however, my sobbing drowned it out.
"Kyle, you can't die, you can't leave me! You mean everything to me. I love you, Kyle, I love you!"
His eyelids flickered several times, before opening.
"Krysten?"
"Yeah, Kyle." I breathed a sigh of relief, he was awake.
"Why are you crying?" He reached up and gently brushed the tears off of my cheeks.
"I thought-Well, I wasn't going to get to tell you how I feel."
"You wi-"
Kyle took a deep breath and closed his eyes, then his heart monitor emitted a steady tone.
"Kyle? Oh my God, Kyle!"
A nurse came running in, "I need you to wait in the waiting room, ma'am."
"I can't-" Another nurse took me by the arm and led me to the waiting room, "We'll be with you shortly," she assured me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A few days later
I was still in shock. I didn't go to Kyle's funeral, because I couldn't deal with my emotions. My emotions were ever changing, shifting from regret of not telling Kyle how I felt, to anger that his life was cute short, to numbness. I had gotten to the point where I just couldn't deal with it anymore, everything seemed so... worthless.
I grabbed my car keys and headed out the door. I hadn't driven since the accident, so I was sure that this would be nerve wracking. But not for long.
I drove nearly ten minutes before I reached my destination, a bridge. Kyle and I used to come the the bridge all the time, for picnics, for fishing, or even just to sit on the edge of the bridge and talk.
I parked my car, got out slowly, and walked to the railing. I looked down at the perfect, cobalt, blue water, 50 feet below me, thinking of Kyle. All of our memories together, school, birthdays, summer.
Then I made my decision. I climbed over the railing and stared at the lake one last time before letting go and plunging into its depths.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Krysten. Krysten! You're dreaming, you need to wake up, we're here." A voice urged me.
I slowly opened my eyes, and found myself staring up at Kyle's face.
But that wasn't possible, it couldn't be. Kyle was gone, dead. And so was I, I'd jumped off the bridge. We shouldn't be here.
I began to cry quietly, confused.
"Krysten, why are you crying?"
"I--You were dead--and I didn't get to tell you--"
Kyle pulled me into his warm embrace, "You were dreaming, it's okay, I'm alive, I'm right here."
"You were dead. I didn't tell you."
"What didn't you tell me?"
I took a deep breath and wiped away my tears. "I didn't tell you that I love you, as more than a friend, that I don't just love you, I'm in love with you. That every time you're with another girl, my heart seizes up. That I need you, I can't live without you. And I realized how easily that can all be taken away."
Kyle sat there, silent, not moving.
"Kyle?"
Kyle leaned down, until his lips were flush with min, and we kissed for several minutes until he broke away, out of breath.
"I love you Krysten. I was waiting for you to tell me, I was afraid that you wouldn't feel the same way."
"I do," I said, leaning in "And I'll love you for a thousand years."
