The STD Trace

1. Spy Gear Gets You Laid

Walking from detention is like harnessing my ninja skills. My eyes darted around looking for any sign of human populace in the area. No one must know about my detention, for after all, it is kind of lame unless you're in the Breakfast Club. I don't know why real life detention is so boring. The teacher is in the room staring at you, so there's no room to talk and meet the love of your life. Also, there's no weed and awesome music to dance to.

"Oomf!" I bumped into Winston of all people. How many times can I look at a person before going mad?

"How was detention, Hannah?" He smiled, his eyes bright.

"Shh!" I hissed at him, checking to see if anyone heard, slapping a hand over his mouth. He licked my hand and I immediately pulled away. "Ew! You're such a toad!" I wiped my hand on the sleeve of his cardigan.

Winston chuckled. "Whatever. So... how's the article coming?" He held back more laughter.

I rolled my eyes. "Very funny you buttfart, now beat it!" I pushed him aside and headed for my locker. This hallway is vacant of students. I swear the whole school is disgusting. Anna smiled at me from her locker and I ignored her. When does she ever pay me any mind? I mean, we've been locker buddies since forever, and she has never said a word to me. What is happening to my school?

"Hey, Hannah, school is crazy now, hm?" She flipped her golden brown hair over her shoulder, admiring her pink and fuzzy locker.

"Don't you have Chlamydia?" I blurted out.

She frowned and turned away from me. Wow, way to make friends, Hannah, way to make friends. It's not my fault I'm antisocial when it comes to girls.

"Yeah, I do." She gave a bland smile, making me feel horrible. I'm such an ass sometimes.

"Why aren't you in the nurse's office?" It's like my mouth is moving and my brain is not operating to match.

"I've been diagnosed and given antibiotics, all done. What, are you trying to be a doctor?" She snorted.

I blushed. "No, I was just wondering-" I turned to my locker, hiding my face. Jeez, she is so... intimidating.

"If I'm contagious?" She laughed. "Unless you and I are lesbians, then I doubt—"

"Okay, ew!" I put my hands up to cover my ears. "I know how Chlamydia spreads— I'm not stupid!" Now is my chance to either get away from her or start muttering information about planets or something so she'll leave.

She laughed again. "I guess. So... you and Winston, eh?" She elbowed me, playful now.

My eyes widened. Ew! Is everyone coming to the conclusion that Winston and I are together? Oh no! If so, then I have to stop talking to him in public and pronto! "Pfft, Winston and me? Ha, that's funny!" I snorted, mentally punching myself in the face for being such a loser.

"Oh, well, he is kinda hot, actually." She stared off with lust in her eyes.

I gaped. Anna Baker. Popular cheerleader Anna Baker thinks loser journalist Winston Francis is hot? What has the world come to? Something is seriously wrong today. I'm in some Twilight Zone shit. Get me out! Get me out!

"You should talk to him for me?" Anna put a hand on my shoulder.

"You want me to get Winston to go on a date with you?" I don't think she's considered the fact that he's probably never been on a date before.

"Yeah, please?" She clasped her hands together, giving me puppy dog eyes.

I groaned. "What will you do for me?" I crossed my arms.