What we all know is true...

You don’t really feel anything

It’s like… you’re numb

Like your brain’s shutdown and what you’re doing is robotic

You just know that you need to

That once it’s done, things will be better

Even if it is for a little a while

Just something to take the pain away

Just for a little while

It’s simple really, so damn easy

You just pick it up and use it

Use it how?

Slide it across, scrape it till you bleed

Just anything to make you feel alive for those few moments

And then what?

You look down at yourself… Disgusted

You’re weak, pathetic

You lower yourself to this and you know there’s no way out

“A never ending fucking cycle”

You get up and you face the world

Show them that you’re strong

That everything is okay

Everything is fine

But inside, every single day

A bit of you is dying

Slowly chipping away and leaving nothing but a empty, hollow shell

You feel so damn alone

Like you’re suffocating

Everyone expects something of you

You feel like the world is pushing down on you, just waiting for you to break

But you try so damn hard not to

So what is it exactly that we do?

Are we living?

Are we dead?

Are we fighting?

Are we surviving?

Or are we just screaming silently to the world to help us, but know that no one is listening

Hope that one day things won’t be like they are now

That one day, we’ll wake up in the morning and think

“I'm glad I’m alive, because if I weren’t then the sun wouldn’t be as beautiful as it is right now”

But that time is a long way away yet

Because first we need to realise that the only thing stopping us from having the end we all wish for

Is ourselves

I don’t know if I’ll ever get to that point

I just hope I realise soon that where I’m at now is not how my life needs to be like forever

I can change it if I want to

And I hope you can see that too…