I could hear the horrendous sounds of everyone groaning in the nurse’s office. If I wasn’t trying to be professional, I’d find the whole ordeal pretty dang funny. I mean the entire school was in the nurse’s office, holding their… parts. Ha. They say chlamydia is sometimes undetectable because symptoms don’t come until weeks, even months. That’s why I found it extremely amusing that the whole school had this disease. Who knew that my whole school was made up of a bunch of whores?
When Coach Carr from Mean Girls said that if you get Chlamydia, you will die, I guess he wasn’t that far off. Most of these kids would indeed be dead when their parents found out. That thought alone almost threatened to send me into hysterics. Too bad I was a good kid who had plans to be a journalist.
“Hannah, unless you are next for an inspection, I suggest you leave,” Mrs. Horne snapped at me, her hands filled with paperwork.
I gave her a bland smile. “Whatever.” I left the sick and stupid and headed for the sane and normal children of the school. Well, there were only seven people left in my history class, but oh well. The smaller the class, the more attention I'd get. I smiled at the prospect of more attention.
“If you keep smiling like that, Hannah, your face will get stuck like that.” Winston snorted at me, pushing his glasses up his face. I rolled my eyes with disgust.
No one was more annoying than Winston Francis. He was the most obnoxious yet ambitious kid that ever lived. Maybe he likes me or something, I don’t know. He’s not even that bad looking; I just can’t get past his stupid remarks that he makes every day he lays his eyes on me.
“Oh how I’ll die if I get stuck with such a wretched smile on my face!” I twirled around in a dramatic circle before taking a seat on top of his desk, crossing my legs. “Winston, maybe if you lost the glasses and the annoying retorts, you could actually acquire a girlfriend.” I tapped his nose.
“Shut up. So what are you up to, hm? Going to write an article about all of the infected students of our school?” He laughed as if it was the funniest thing in the world, and then it hit me.
What if I did write an award winning article on the students of my school? Who knows who started the nasty Chlamydia outbreak, and what if I could find out who started it? What if I could go on a… STD trace!
I put my hands up in a picturesque box, with my hands, capturing my vision. “Yes, but I’m going to do it big, Winston. I’m going to interview every kid to find out who had sexual relations with who and then bam!” I put my box in his face; he jumped, adjusting his glasses. “I’ll have the most amazing story in the world and get a full scholarship to Columbia University in New York for my amazing article!” I smiled with victory.
Winston stared at me as if I were crazy and then he started snorting with laughter, slapping his hand on the desk for extra measure. “God you’re funny, Hannah, good luck with that.” He patted my leg.
I curled my lip with disgust and threw his hand off of me. “You’ll see, Winston, and you’ll be jealous when I get into Columbia!”
“Mhm, sure.” He rolled his eyes and headed for the pencil sharpener. Apparently the loser had never heard of mechanical pencils.
“I’m serious, Winston! This could be my big break and you are going to regret mocking me!” I followed after him.
“I sure will regret it, immensely.” He bit his lip to hold back laughter.
I narrowed my eyes. “Fine, don’t believe me--I’ll prove it to you, to everyone!” I threw my arms out wide.
“Hannah, settle down!” Mrs. Hundley yelled at me. I blushed and set my arms down.