It hurts, more than you know, more than I can bear to tell,
This forbidden pain that I cannot share, I alone have to bear,
What was shared, was forbidden, so sweet , so deep,
More than what was asked, I fell too deep, this feelings will not go,
Feeling so empty, so alone, you are within reach but I dare not touch,
Seeing the betrayal in front of my eyes, yet not allowed to do anything,
Pain flows with every word and again, but I have to smile and pretend,
That it does not matter, does not hurt, and that I do not care,
I have nowhere to turn, no place to seek comfort, hard faces are all that I see,
I have to smile, I have to laugh, should I give myself away there will be hell to pay,
I mourn my loss in silence, alone. The quiet is my only friend, the days feel empty,
My life has no point, feeling dead but not wanting to die, numb to life and to living.
My memories, my cage reminding me of what was shared, I need to escape to find ,
the happiness inside, I need to let go of you and the memory of you, I need to find my star again,
to move on, to heal, maybe find my happiness again, reveal my smile to the world again, to have again glittery eyes filled with mischief.