His To Keep

Chapter Eleven

 Lamentations 3:12

He has made my skin and my flesh grow old and has broken my bones. He has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and hardship. He has made me dwell in darkness like those long dead.

Weeks had passed by, but it already felt like an eternity. My prison drew my life out of me, no longer was I the girl who smiled or was filled with happy thoughts. I forgot what it felt like to smile or feel safe. I was haunted by shadows of grief, which was slowly killing my hope and replacing it with cold fear. I prayed to god every night for someone to save me and to find me, but I was becoming hopeless. 

 As the young summer pressed on, the dank room I was kept locked up in was slowly becoming unbearably hot, so hot even, I could barely stand wearing the thinnest dress that was in the wicker basket.

Father Aaron hadn't starved or punished us, but I could feel that something big was coming and the fear of that something was sickening. John had also been keeping his distance and hadn't attempted to come back into the room again for me, but Callum never left me long enough either. The only time he'd leave me is to go on toilet breaks, but he even started having his showers late at night when he knew the rest of the family were asleep.  

 I continued to crave for the home cooked meals that Gran made. Here we ate main meals only, the times never changing. At seven we had breakfast, sometimes Penny brought it up to us in a basket, other times Father Aaron wanted us to eat at the table. At twelve we had sandwiches and tea at lunchtime, then at five we had our dinner. But I longed for fruit, chocolate or even a biscuit to fill in those meal gaps, the food wasn't good either, not like the meals the priest got.

 Callum hadn't spoken a word to me since the day Father Aaron revealed another victim hidden in the debts of his secret hell. Sometimes I'd catch him looking at me as we sat in the room in silence, but he never spoke a word and I didn't to him. I knew it was wrong but I wanted to talk to him, the loneliness was suffocating me, the walls closing in around me. The tears of hopelessness dripped from my eyes at every chance, my heart pounding in constant pain. I knew crying is known as a weakness, but every time I thought about never escaping and eventually being murdered the dull ache always pushed me to cry.  

 At night I watched Callum in secret, needing to take my mind from my own emotions and to fill myself with his. My insides squirmed and my heart jolted whenever I saw his tortured depression that only came out at night time, his saddened face illuminated by that dim light of his lamp. For some reason, as the days went by, it seemed to grow deeper making him appear more tense. His blue, crystal like eyes had so much emotional grief packed into it, yet so much hardness, it was hard to make out what was going on inside of him.

It was hard to believe he came from someone as cruel and cold as Father Aaron, when his eyes showed me the deep contents of his inner demons. I felt as if something bad was going to happen, and it was going to happen soon.

 I lay on my back on the bed, my head slightly turned so I could look out of the window. It was nearing seven at night and the sun was just setting behind the tall trees, casting a cold gloom over the room. I brought my hand up to wipe the light sweat that was plastered against my forehead, wishing I could open the window and feel the breeze against my hot cheeks. I got up from the bed, my head dully aching, as I moved over towards the window painfully and tried to open it.

 Of course it didn't open, I knew that no matter how much I yanked and pulled, the raggedly embedded nails wouldnât budge and would always continue to restrain me from opening it and letting air into this stuffy room. I pressed my forehead against the cool glass and let out a deep breath that hurt, my lungs clenched as tears dropped from my eyes, shaming and laughing at me. I wanted to go home. I needed fresh air, just once and I'd never take it for granted ever again.

 Suddenly I felt a cool hand on my upper arm, my heart jumped in my throat as I turned around to face Callum, who was now standing in front of me. His hand slid down my arm gently, sending cold shivers tumbling down my spine, his blue eyes never leaving my own. He took hold of my hand and pulled me towards the bathroom. My feet started moving as I followed him inside the bathroom.