And I'm a cop!!
**Author's Note: This is sort of like a blog entry... but I just had to post it for your reading pleasure. Why not tell the world about how you ruined some non-English speaking telemarketer's day? WARNING: Contains some foul language**
So... Earlier today I was sleeping on the floor because my bed deflated again... Eck... and my... cousin? (my mom's cousin, Ruth, she's cool as hell) decided to pop on over and wake my sleepy ass up. She brought her friend Scott (also cool as hell) and we all chatted and looked at pictures, catching up with each other. Then... A freaking telemarketer calls. So we started screwing with him~
First my mom was going over what her name was, Kelly Nelson, Henderson, Schmaltz, fucking Ti Yao for all I know. She "just got married Saturday" and her "husband's name is Harry Henderson. He's a cop" That was Scott. And every so often, we'd put him on the phone just to have him say "Hello? This is Harry Henderson. I'm a cop."
This dude was getting so pissed with us, he had to have been retarded to think we weren't messing with him. Then Ruth got on the phone and started ordering Chinese food (because the guy was Asian) "Yeah can I get some kung pao chicken, fried rice, eggrolls, some wontons, and do you have any of that black tea? .... What? Is this Dragon Tree? No? Sir, I really don't appreicate you playing these games with me. I just want my Chinese food."
THEN this guy started THREATENING HER, saying if she was messing with him, she'd be dead right now. They record that shit, so he should lose his job. So Scott gets on the phone "Hi, this is Harry and I'm a cop. I really don't like you threatening my wife, she just wants her order." He lists off the food and asks for plenty of soy sauce and what it will cost. The bastard plays along and says "Ummm 30 thousand dollars" so Ruth takes it all in stride. "Is that in dollars or yen? Look, dude I want to talk to your superviser. SUPERVISER, someone who actually speaks English. Do you have any Americans there,. Caucasian. White. Not fucking Asian!"
Needless to say, we were all rolling by then... and then he hung up. Cretin.... But we'd had our fun, and right after he hung up, my auntie walked in. She missed the whole thing... and regretted it. After she heard what we all said, she laughed and said we ruined that guy's day. Yeah... yeah we did.
So, the next time some Asian guy calls you up, asking about college or car insurance, ask for some Kung Pao Chicken!!!
