Love and War (ON HIATUS) (BEING RE-WRITTEN)

Kat's out fit :P http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=49901056

Kat’s P.O.V.

Beep

Beep

Beep

Goes the heart monitor Darcy is hooked up to. Once Zayn found her he called Liam and told him for us all to meet him at the hospital they were going to. Everyone acted surprised at Darcy’s attempt of suicide. Truly, I wasn’t that surprised, but I know her problems so I guess that makes a difference. I assume she tried to commit because she felt worthless to the world. We’ve sat down and talked about this subject before. She says she feels worthless a lot, but when she’ surrounded by nice, and caring people she can’t act on her first instinct. I guess that’s why she did attempted then too, when no one was there to stop her. I’ve decided to tell the boys about her problems today, when were all together in her hospital room. 

“I have something to say” I say quietly. Everyone looks up and looks at me.

“Darcy has a few… problems, that she and I haven’t told you guys” I say before they can ask any questions.

“Like what?” Niall says from across the room.

“Well, when she was little her step-brother used to touch her, which lead to her depression. She was diagnosed with depression in 2007. The depression lead to feeling worthless all the time and not good enough, which lead to her anorexia and bulimia. She was diagnosed with both of the eating disorders in 2008, but the only people that knew were Darcy, the doctor, and I. Not even her parents know.” I say taking in a deep sigh. 

Everyone’s quiet, until Zayn speaks up.

“Why didn’t you tell us any sooner Kat?” Zayn says tearing up.

“It wasn’t my story to tell! Darcy told me not to tell, I didn’t tell her problems, she didn’t tell mine” I say calmly. If I told them Darcy’s issues might as well tell them mine. 

“What are your problems?” Liam says. Here goes nothing.

“Ever since I was little I’ve been bullied.  Have been called ugly, fat, worthless, etc. Have been told to kill myself, why am I even here, and many other hurtful things. That’s when I couldn’t take it. I tried to commit suicide at the age of 10. Right after that, I thought I failed. I failed at killing myself, I’m a failure. So then I started cutting. At the age of 11, I had depression and cut every single day and have been to the hospital many times because of it. When I was 12, I bought my first bikini, I wore it to the pool later that day only to be called ugly and fat. A few months later I was diagnosed with anorexia, it isn’t as bad as Darcy’s though. I still cut, and honestly when I “left” I was planning on killing myself, that’s until Niall actually found out I wasn’t with my parents. So much was going on that I decided against it. So that’s my story..” I say looking down at my hands. Great, now there going to think I’m so weird, emo freak. 

“Kat, I’m so sorry” Harry says walking over to give me hug, while bursting into tears right before getting up. I always thought of Harry as a protective big brother and seeing like this is just to much, now I’m sobbing. 

“Your beautiful Kat, I don’t know why anyone would tell you your not” Harry says kissing my forehead. 

“That’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me” I say breaking down into another round of tears. Soon were all in a giant group hug crying. 

Beep, Beep, Beep, Beeeeeeeeep, ----------------------------------------. 

“What’s going on?! Why is Darcy’s heart monitor stopping?!” Louis screams.

“Because she’s dying you dumbass” Zayn screams.

“Excuse me, please move out of the way” A doctor says rushing into the room with a bunch of nurses behind them. 

“CLEAR” The doctor shouts. 

Harry’s P.O.V.

I can’t take this. I’m the reason she is in that fucking hospital bed, I can’t watch her die. Or the way her back is arching from the shocks. I honestly don’t know what I’ll do if she dies.  I won’t be able to live with myself knowing I’m the reason she took her life. Especially if the press found out, I would be reminded every single fucking day of my life. I know the press didn’t find out about Zoe but if they find out about Darcy I’m pretty sure they could pull a few strings to figure out the Zoe thing. Then having 2 deaths on my back? Nope, I’d rather be dead.