The Silent Diaries. (Book One & Two)

I’m drowning, being pulled under.
This hunger is loud, like thunder.
Starvation, I’m at the edge of desperation.
Caving to my insanity, death wouldn’t free me.
Stray from the light, the dark feeds me.

Caked in mud, covered in blood.
Mutating skin blame my mortal sin.
Forsaken, I’m embraced by Satan.   
The proof found in this misshapping.
No way to survive my crash dive.

Die, only to come alive.

       Something is wrong, so very wrong. The bodies are being taken slowly from me, but it wouldn’t matter if they stayed. I haven’t been able to move in a day or so. In and out of sleep fever shakes my body, and my eyes are blurry. I’m hungry, and in my desperation I have done the unthinkable. I’m my own meal, eating what falls from my body like leaves from a tree in the autumn. My skin is falling from me, and I’m mutating.

     My body is on fire, and my heart races. I scream so loud sometimes from the pain that I’m amazed I haven’t been found. In the pain, in those brief moments where I scream so loud I cough blood I find a moment, just a second of clarity. I am going to die here, starved, insane, and mutating. It’s less than I deserve for the things I have done.

       I deserve this pain, this punishment, the mutating. I’m so hungry though that all I can see when I’m not screaming in pain, or dripping sweat from fever is blood. I crave the taste of blood in my mouth, and flesh between my teeth, even the putrid smell from memory makes my stomach roll in hunger. I just want to eat, even if it means my fallen skin.

        It no longer matters to me that I am hunted like an animal, or eat like a rabid beast, not because I am becoming one. I simply just don’t care any longer. I just want to eat, I want food. I just want a body, any body will do, for now mine will. I don’t know how long it will be mine, or how long it will be considered a body; a human one at least  as long as it is, its food.

        I would eat anything in my hunger, but if my body continues to change the way it has been over these past few hours I might die before the night is out. My hair fell from my head in clumps and I noticed a change as blood dripped from my ears while a screamed in pain clenching myself. My ears have reshaped into something animal like, pointed and sticking to my head. I’m starting to look like what I’ve become, a beast.

Cethin Huarwar