Just for a while.

Chapter seven; Upsidedown.

I packed my stuff back into my bag and started toward the door, trying not to be seen. Quietly, I placed my hand on the door handle and turned it carefully. It opened without a sound, and I stepped out onto the porch. A warm sensation came over me and I noticed Anamarie fast asleep on a lawn chair right outside. She twitched, then shivered and shifted to her side. Something in my mind wouldn’t allow me to leave her there like that, so I lifted her up and started back into the house. I paused, if I went back inside, I might not be able to leave again, and I knew she found being with me uncomfortable. I cursed under my breath and set her back on the chair as gently as possible, covering her with my jacket and kissing her forehead. She flinched, then smiled softy letting out a quiet giggle, making my face redden. 

As I walked back to the orphanage, my thoughts revolved around Anamarie. I remembered the way she felt, the warmth on my hands after touching her. It was strange how we couldn’t barely look at each other without some sort of reaction. 

“Kio!”

I stopped and looked around. 

“Doris, what’re you doing?” I asked, walking toward the woman. She smiled strangely and held her arms out for a hug. 

“I was looking for you, you’ve been gone all day.” she said, wrapping her arms around me. I stood unmoving, fatigue washing over me. 

“You look tired, let me walk you home.” she said, waiting for me to follow her. I adjusted my bag and walked behind her. 

“So where had you been all day?” she asked. 

“At a friends.” I answered shortly.

“You should’ve told me, I would’ve driven you there. You just got out of the hospital, you shouldn’t push yourself so hard.”

“I know.” I said, trying to get my mind off Anamarie.  We walked a while in silence before Doris spoke again, without turning to me. 

“Look, there’s the building. I want you to go straight to bed when you get back.”

I fully intended to, but I was to tired to answer. 

Carefully, I stumbled around the back of the building and fumbled to unlock the door. It took me a minute, but I finally unlocked it and entered the single room. 

“You were gone all day, I got a little bored without you.”

My stomach lurched at her voice. 

“Please leave, I need to get some sleep and I can’t with you here.” I said. 

“You slept just fine last night...” she said, climbing out from under the covers and sitting in front of me on the bed. A pair of shorts peeked out from under a button-down shirt she’d taken from my drawer. She unbuttoned her shirt a button and raising her eyebrows at me. I turned away. 

“Oh come on, you can’t resist me forever.” she said, and I heard her get off the bed. 

“There’s nothing to resist, nothing about you interests me.” I admitted. She paused, then I felt her arms around my waist. 

“Stop touching me.” I said, pushing her off more roughly than I had meant. She looked surprised as she reached for the door, opening it and starting out. 

“Not so fast.” 

I turned to the door so fast I gave myself whiplash. Anamarie was standing in the doorway, breathing hard. 

“Is that her!? You said she wasn’t cute!” exclaimed Anamarie. 

“I said I didn’t find her cute.” I corrected, even though it was the same thing. 

“You think I’m ugly!?” shouted Sarah. 

“Shut up!” Both Anamarie and I yelled at the same time. She closed her mouth as Anamarie grabbed her by the hair and pulled her toward the door. Roughly, Anamarie tossed Sarah out the door and threw her stuff out the window before closing and locking them.

I watched as Anamarie stared out the window, still watching Sarah pick up her clothes. It took her a while, but Anamarie finally took her attention off her and looked at me. 

“She’s gone.” Anamarie affirmed. 

“Thank you.” I said, taking a step closer to her. She flinched and took a step back, tripping over one of my bed’s small legs. I reached out to catch her, but she had already regained her balance by the time I got there. We stood there in silence for a while, neither of us knowing what to say. I sat down on my bed and took her arm, pulling her down next to me. She landed next to me, sending a shiver throughout my entire body. 

“About earlier...” she began, looking away from me. I took her chin and turn it so she faced me again. 

“I’m not sorry.” I said, referring to the kiss. Her eyes, which had been averting me, now came to rest on mine. 

“And I’ll do it again in front of the entire world.” I finished, a tired smile playing on my face. A somewhat scared expression appeared on her face, then vanished as fast as it came. 

“Kio, you have to tell me what happened between you and that girl.” She said. 

“I don’t know.” I admitted, almost ashamed. 

“I need to know. Did you kiss her?”

“I thought I told you, she kissed me. I didn’t want her too, but she did it before I could do anything to stop her!” I said. 

She held up a hand to stop me. 

“Anything more?” 

“No, I can’t remember anything else.”

Quickly, she stood up and headed for the door. 

“Wait, where are you going?” I asked, catching her before she could unlock the door. 

“Away.” she said, not looking at me. Just being this close to her, I wanted to pull her away from the door, keep her here with me.

“Why?” I asked, the sadness coloring my voice. She didn’t answer, but her fingers stopped trying to open the lock. 

We stood there, longer than I would have thought. My hand slowly wrapping around her small waist, pulling her into me. She didn’t resist, she just stood there leaning against the door with her forehead. I pressed my fingers into her stomach and kissed her ear lightly.

“Kio stop.” 

I kissed her ear again, and she pushed me away, still not turning around. 

“I told you to stop, and I meant it.” she said. Her words weren’t angry, more like confused and hurt. I opened my mouth to apologize, but stopped before the words came out and asked something else;

“What aren’t you telling me?” 

She turned away from me and shook her head. 

“Even I don’t know Kio.” She said. I stood up and put my hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her. She shrugged it off then headed for the door, leaving me behind in silence.