Confessions of a Muslim Girl

Chapter 25 -- Don't Go Down the Same Road

I'm not blabbering here but you BETTER READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END!!!

They’re innocent. But I don’t want her to end up like I did because guilt is an unbearable emotion. -- Noha Ali, Confessions of a Muslim Girl

Chapter 25

Don't Go Down the Same Road

☻ Noha Ali ☻

I think I’ve said this before, but ninety percent of the time I wonder if siblings are a blessing or a curse. Not that I would want to be an only child, because I can’t imagine a life without Rubina, Adam, and Dawud, but I do sometimes find myself wondering what it would be like.

The Ali household is having a hectic week. We have about one a month, where everybody’s schedules just coincidentally get all busy and we have to find a way to get through the week while balancing six schedules.

Mom has to work late at the store tonight because Dad is going out of town for a business trip. Adam has a big soccer game this week, where scouts will be attending to see if they want to offer him a soccer scholarship. Dawud has a play that he’s performing in this week, but the biggest event this week is Rubina’s school dance which is on Saturday.

Muslim Parent mode kicked in and Monday morning, Mom and Dad decided to talk to Adam and me about their concerns. They were both up early, the same time we were, because Fajr is about twenty minutes before Adam and I leave for school.

Adam and I were just sitting at the table, being the unsociable, tired teenagers that we are when our parents decided to join us. I said salaam to them but Adam couldn’t seem to muster much more than a nod; he looked so tired that his face and his cereal were really getting to know each other on account of how close they were to each other.

I kicked Adam underneath the table when I saw them exchange glances. “Go ahead and say it, Suleiman.” My mom whispers.

Dad clears his throat and looks down at his coffee, wire rimmed glasses perched on his nose. “Rubina’s dance is on Saturday, and I – we – were hoping that you could…”

I waited for him to continue but he didn’t. Instead, he glanced over at Mom and she continued where he left off. “We were hoping that one of you could talk to Rubina.” Adam looks up and after glancing at his alarmed face, Mom quickly added, “We thought Noha could do it.”

“Talk to her about what?” I had an inkling as to where this is going.

Mom sighed. “About boys, about limits. I know that Nazia and Leila and her other friends will be there, and I think they’re all sweet girls but I’m still worried about Rubina. She’s young, she’s innocent. Allah forbid she get into any trouble on Saturday. I know she won’t open up to me as much as she will open up to you.”

I opened my mouth to protest but she cut me off, continuing. “I don’t want you to tell me anything she says that she didn’t tell me. Well, if it’s serious then of course I should know. Anyway, just talk to her for me habibti, alright?”

I nodded and Adam mumbled something along the lines of ‘Noha’s gonna talk to her, not me.’

Mom and Dad both smiled. “Inshallah let’s hope that she will be as good at you, Noha. Inshallah.” Dad said that with such tenderness and love in his eyes. I felt my heart sink with guilt and regret as to how I violated their trust, and yet they trust me. For the millionth time since it happened, I slapped myself mentally. Why, why, why am I such a bad person?