I went straight to Rick’s room and see its empty. It’s true. He’s gone. He really is gone. I felt a sudden emptiness in my stomach and a tear drop from my eyes without me realizing. He didn’t even leave any message or notes to me but who to blame him when I’m had been avoiding him for a week.
I didn’t believe when dad told me that Rick intended to go back to LA earlier than expected. I thought dad just saying it to make me talk to Rick. Do I regret not believing dad? Yeah, I do. Maybe I could stop him from leaving but what would I say to him? I don’t know what to say to stop him from leaving. What’s the point of him staying if I have no guts to fight for our love? I’m such a coward. I didn’t have the guts to fight for his love. I let my love for my sister overrule my love towards him.
I lay down on his bed inhaling his scent that still lingered there. God, I love his smell. I grabbed one of his pillow and hugged it as if I’m hugging him as his scent is stronger there. I missed this man. I missed his touched and everything about him. Now I’m not able to see him any longer because he’s gone out of my life forever. It’s all too late now to regret.
“Miss him already?” suddenly I heard Keyshia’s voice at the door. I wipe my tears away and looked at her. I just remain silent.
“I would never let him go, if I were you,” she added after seeing my remained quiet.
“It’s for the best,” I found myself said to her.
“For the best? For whom? You? Rick or Lily?” she cockily asked.
“For everyone,” I said to softly.
“You think so. Here both you and Rick are heartbroken and you said for the best?” she mocked.
“If he stays, we both will be more heartbroken,” I said to her.
“You think so. You’re not going to fight for him? You just going to give up just like that?” she asked.
“What the point Keysh? What would you do if you are in my place? Here you have a boyfriend that you love with all your heart and on the other hand your have your sister whom you love dearly too. You don’t want to lose either of them but you can’t. You have to choose one of them. Whom would you choose Keysh? A guy that you’ve just known for few months or your sister that you’ve knows all your life?” I sobbed. I seldom cry in front of people but I couldn’t contain myself any longer.
She came over and hugged me and I let it all out on her shoulders, “Hush now,” Keyshia softly whispered to me, “I understand how you felt. I know you are in a difficult situation and it’s very unfair for you but don’t you think you’re too rushing into breaking off your engagement with Rick? You should fight instead of just giving up like that.”
“I’m scared, Keysh, scared that she will try to kill herself again and this time if she really died I don’t think I would able to forgive myself forever. I love Rick but at the same time I don’t want to bear the guilty feeling I would carry for my whole life if anything should happen to Lily because of our relationship,” telling her the whole truth how I felt.
She looked at me and said, “Are you forgetting that you have your family who supports you? You have mom, dad, Mady, Andrew and me who will support you all the way no matter what. We’re never going to let Lily spoil it for you. We will help you to make Lily understand. I’m for sure going to make Lily listen.”
I sniggered, “You think Lily will listen to you, when she didn’t even want to listen to mom and dad?” I asked.
“Well I’m going to force her to listen,” she said with determination.
“I like you spirit,” I said to her, “You never giving up on things easily. You always fight for it.”
“You used to be the same,” she reminded me, “Where the Brianna I know that will fight for something that she believes in? Fight for something that belongs to her? Where has she gone? Don’t tell me just because of one small problem she already given up?”
I sighed while Keyshia added, “You would never find a guy who loves you like Rick does. Believe me you won’t. I could see he really and truly loves you. He willing to do anything for you but here you not willing to fight for his love, instead you give up just like that. If you really love him, fight for him.” Seeing me remained quiet, Keyshia asked, “Do you really love him?”