Hey guys!!! New BxB, so ya know, if you don't like BxB (boy on boy action) then click out, wanna write something mean on my comment board? I'll send my evil grimlins to rape your nostrils in the middle of the night. Lovies to my fans!!! Shout out to FireworkMonkey, she's so cool! Go check her out! Oh and someone help me find someone to play Dorian!!!!
If I were invisible, not really that much about my life would change. Sure, I had two parents a little sister and a twin brother, I went to a public school with lots of other kids with the same interest as me, I mean, who didn't know about Korn and Mayday Parade? How many teenaged guys liked skate boarding and cars? I know not many guys my age enjoy reading, but I mean, come on, surely I wasn't the only one? Either way I was a loner, I blended in to the furniture, the walls, the crowd...I wondered if I died, would any one notice I was gone?
Meet Dorian Alexander, a seventeen year old nobody. He feels more invisible every day, lost as a drop of rain in the ocean, unnoticed and unloved by everyone. His own twin sometimes forgets he exist. Dorian had decided that if this was all life would ever give him, there was no point in living, but just as he puts the finishing touches on his suicide note in the middle of class, it flies out of his hands and in to the hands of the new kid.
Vincent Saunders was your average teenage guy in almost every way, decently popular, well liked and well mannered, athletic and dreamed of running his own garage-chain one day; he thought himself a pretty lucky guy until his parents had the roughest, nastiest divorce in the history of divorces. After moving to the other side of the country with his mom and little brother, some of Vince's natural charisma faded and he found himself a little less out going and a little more observant, all he wanted in life was something to get his mind off of his home troubles. After making his wish, one of the students sitting by the window opens it and a piece of paper flew off another students desk, landing squarely in front of Vince, to his horror, it's a suicide note...
If I were invisible, not really that much about my life would change. Sure, I had two parents a little sister and a twin brother, I went to a public school with lots of other kids with the same interest as me, I mean, who didn't know about Korn and Mayday Parade? How many teenaged guys liked skate boarding and cars? I know not many guys my age enjoy reading, but I mean, come on, surely I wasn't the only one? Either way I was a loner, I blended in to the furniture, the walls, the crowd...I wondered if I died, would any one notice I was gone? I made up my mind that it didn't matter, I couldn't take it any more. My shaking hands reached forward, pausing with my hands clenched on the edge of the mirror, I stared into my own gray eyes, noting my pale complexion and inky black hair.
I was awful looking, I guess some of my features were attractive, but I looked sick with the dark bags under my eyes and in just the last seven months I had dropped weight dramatically, I was 5'9 and barely weighed 98 pounds. My identical twin brother, who wasn't so identical anymore with his healthy weight and glowing tan, brushed past me in to the bathroom, muttering a polite sentiment that wasn't really meant for me, but the person he was on the phone with, completely missing the fact that I was clutching a large bottle of painkillers still full to the brim.
Ever sense I came out it was like I had died. No one really spoke directly to me, nor did they look at me, in the halls a foot wide bubble stayed in tact, there was no teasing or bullying, hell, that would've made my whole life worth living, at least then I wouldn't question if I were already dead...
I took them to my room and swallowed them all in sets of four until the bottle was empty then made my way down stairs and walking out the door, heading for school for the last time, a ghost of a smile playing on my lips.
~1 hour later~
'Dear Mom and Dad,' I wrote.
'I don't really know if this will be hard for you or not, seeming as how you never really notice me anymore, so this may or may not affect you in any way, but'--I scribbled out the line I had written and began again. 'This is what I want. I can't take being invisible anymore, I'm tired of being treated like cellophane. I love you both very much, and try not to blame yourselves, don't bother thinking back, because I never did show any signs of depression', okay, now that was a lie, I had even talked about killing myself at the dinner table in front of God, Miranda, Dillon and everybody, but all mom had mustered was a “that's nice, dear” without even looking up from her plate. 'There's about six thousand dollars in my sock drawer that I've saved up from working at Fat Fonz, I want you to put it in Miranda's college fund and a stack of painting by my bed that I guess you can do what you want with. Miranda's only four so chances are she won't remember me, please don't tell her I ever existed, I don't want her ever thinking that I didn't love her enough to stick around to see her grow up. Somehow, after having made the decision to kill myself, I feel more peaceful now than I have in years. You've been great parents, I hate that we've grown so far apart in the last year, if I could've changed who I was and been straight for you I would have, I figured if I was going to hell anyway, why prolong my torturous waste of a joke my life has become?' I began writing past tense, thinking about death fondly, finally the sweet abyss of darkness drew me nearer as the entire bottle of Oxycontin I had swallowed this morning before school reached my blood stream. 'To save the Coroner the trouble I'll go ahead and tell you that I OD'd on the pain pills I got four months ago for my sprained wrist, I thought it ironic that the pain killers finally did their job and killed my pain. As I write this, I'm dying, I highly doubt I'll even make it to third period, it's only first and already I can feel the numbness in my fingers...I only wish I could've been a better son, and I wish I could've heard you tell me you love me like you used to before I came out of the closet. Because even though you stopped loving me, I never stopped loving you.' I wiped away a stray tear from my cheek, sniffing quietly as I signed my name and glanced around at the guys and girls surrounding me who used to be my friends. 'With all my love, Dorian Alexander'. Not two desk away from me sat Grey Hood, we were best friends for seven years before I came out at the beginning of the summer before Senior year, all of the sudden he didn't even know my name. To his right sat Kimberly Gainer, my ex-girlfriend, she was the girl I had dated for three years...she wouldn't even look my way. To my immediate left sat Dillon, my twin brother, I think the last words he had said to me was two days ago, he'd said “excuse me” as he scooted past me in to the bathroom for his morning shower. The last thing mom said was “don't forget your backpack” the last thing dad said was “sinner.”
|Aaron Johnson||as Dorian|