Save Me Tonight

“Char, why do you love One Direction so much?” Andy asked quietly. It was already three in the morning. We spent the whole afternoon with my cousins and aunt, but everyone else was in bed. I thought about it for a second. How did I make it simple? “Is it just because they’re all hot?” He asked, wriggling his eyebrows.

“No, not just because they’re attractive.” He looked at me with questioning eyes.

“So why then? I mean, they’re just a band, right?” He whispered. My jaw dropped. I thought out of everyone, Andy would understand what music meant to me, at least a little bit.

“No, Andrew. They’re not just a band.” He motioned for me to continue. “Andy, have you ever felt so connected to something, where it can help you. It can change how you feel so easily? It’s almost like your emotional outlet.” He shook his head. “Well that’s how it is for me. One Direciton changed my life. Hell, they saved my life.” His eyes got wide.

“D- Do you mean that you ever considered it?” I nodded, suddenly finding my hands very interesting. “When did you think about it? I mean, it’s only been once.. right?” He said so quietly I could barely hear. I shook my head. “Oh Charlotte, why didn’t you talk to me? I know I probably would have been slightly irritated at first, but I could never lose you!” I smiled, he would do fine without me. Good thought though.

“I don’t know Andy. I don’t know. I still think about it, but never consider it as much as I used to. I was perpared before. I was ready for it. Multiple times. I just never could do it. Then the boys came along. I learned about them. I listened to them. I became connected. They saved my life. I will always remember that.” He nodded, thinking. After a short silence, he began again.

“If they saved your life, why do you still cut?” I was waiting for that.

“Just because I don’t want to take my life anymore, doesn’t mean I’m not still depressed. Every single day is a struggle for me. No one can ever truly understand what I’m talking about until they’ve experienced it, and I am so happy that you haven’t. I would never in a million years wish this on anyone. Every day I want to be gone. I want to leave. Forever. But every day something happens inside me. It tells me to not think that way. It doesn’t come out much, in fact, it’s miniscule, barely there, but every day it stops me. And I’m so glad to say that it’s there.”

“Char, I’m so sorry I never noticed. I should have realised that you wore a sweater every day. Or that your eyes weren’t twinkling anymore. Or that I couldn’t get a real smile out of you, teeth and everything. I’ve been lucky to even get a thin lipped smile.” I nodded quietly, thinking. “Char, how were you today?”

“I was actually better than usual. This morning. I still felt horrible. Even on my good days, I’m still horrible Andrew. That’s how it’s always been. How it probably always will be. Depression isn’t something you can just get rid of. You can’t wish it away, medications will just cover it up. It will always be there.”

“I get it. I mean, I don’t get it, but I can see it a little better now. Listen babe, go to bed. You’re tired. It’s time to sleep. I’ll talk to you in the morning.” I smiled. A closed mouth smile, but a greatful smile nonetheless. I got up to hug him.

“Thank you so much. Love you.” I walked over to my bed, quickly drifting into a dreamless sleep. For the first time in a long, long time.

Andy’s POV

The only light in Charlotte’s room was coming from her laptop. It was already three in the morning. Everyone was asleep. She was curled up like a baby wrapped up in a caccoon, looking so peaceful. You know, she was so beautiful. I know I used to always call her disgusting and gross and that, but if you really take a look at her, she’s gorgeous. Why is she still single. I need to tell her that more often.

I had been sitting there for twenty minutes trying to do something. Trying to figure something out. Finally it hit me. I had a plan. I would do this for my big sister. No matter what it cost me.

I logged her out of twitter and quickly logged onto my own. Finding out the members of One Direction’s official accounts wasn’t too hard, google had everything. Finally, I had followed each boys accounts. Now was time to take some action. They were five hours ahead of us, so I could only hope they’d see this.