dedicated to NicoleROCKZ because her messages on Butterfly Kingdom literally made my day! :)
ah, final chapter ever, ever, ever! I was going to wait another couple of days, to edit and so on, but I've just had my braces fitted and I feel like rubbish, so I wanted to do something productive, so if there are any mistakes (of which there are probably many) I apologize, I haven't even read it once through ;)
ooo, and there's one final, final, FINAL twist! I'm sorry if it makes anyone sad, but I really wanted to finish with a bang so here it is, haha!
Anyways, on with the show, and after this there will be no more D: which actually kinda makes me a little sad. I enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it! :)
much love, daisy xx
Callum Knightly - Part Two
This is my final letter to you, but it’s one I will never send.
I’ve told you everything. I’ve ripped out my heart for you to see. I asked you to burn away all the bad things, the bad memories and past hurts.
You almost made it. You almost cured me.
But you healed first and then you were gone. I could see you going, falling from my grasp like a lost memory in the wind. I couldn’t call you back and ask you to complete me…that would have been too much to ask.
For some reason, writing this makes me think of Vernon. How brainless he was to hide everything from me. Did he honestly think no one would find out? I think he has a recessive blonde allele somewhere in his genetic make-up.
And now I’ve lost my place.
There’s no easy way to say this, but in the end, it was I who killed myself. Literally and figuratively. Circumstances didn’t have a hold over me, never did the drugs or the alcohol have full control. I was paralyzed by my own fear and that was what will drive me to do it.
Fear of what?
Fear of myself, fear of failure, fear of the future, fear of my own capabilities, my own past, my memories, the blackness in my heart, the fear that someday that blackness would consume me, dragging all I loved in with it…
Perhaps it was also fear of you. Once you realised the power you exerted over me, maybe you’d use it to your advantage. You’d done it before, you told me as much.
You had me under your skin and I couldn’t escape, nor did I want to. The thing that made me realise this, was your story.
Do you remember Fay? That first time I saw you spewing up the contents of your stomach – you told me everything. Everything you were ashamed of, everything you regretted or wished you could take back.
You said you wished you could take back everything you did to Greg.
It was a couple of years ago now, wasn’t it? You were fourteen, he was fifteen. He thought the world of you. You knew that alright and you exploited it.
Because your own life was spiralling out of control, you grasped the reins of anything that came to hand…including your own body and his soul.
You made him do everything. You made him love you, you made him care for you, even though you felt nothing in return.
I would call you a vindictive, heartless bitch if I didn’t know better, Fay Dalton.
But I understand why you did it. I’d have done the same, hell, I have done the same to people, just to feel like I belonged. That feeling of belonging is irreplaceable, huh? Nothing beats it.
That’s why I feared you.
It was fear of everything that drove me to the rim of my consciousness and off the edge of insanity.
They say perfect love casts out all fear.
Neither your love nor my love was perfect. I needed something else. But I couldn’t find it in you, Fay.