Chapter Nine
“What are we going to do today, Yolanda? Who are we going to torture next?” Nico rolls his eyes, as he tosses his backpack on the floor.
I smile. “Who do you want to torture today?”
He looks up, a frown spreading across his face as he takes in my cheeky grin. “Wait…we seriously aren’t going to go talk to another suspect, are we? We just talked to that Save-The-Elephants guy yesterday! You have to give me a break before I have to wear another dead squirrel on my head.”
Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes. “You’re such a drama queen. Cry me a river, sweet cheeks, but I don’t care. Time’s ticking away. We have no clue when this psycho is going to strike again. He can do it whenever he pleases, so the faster we narrow down our suspects, the better.”
He mouth forms a perfect o. I know he didn’t see that coming. Although, I didn’t see the sweet cheeks part coming either. “Gotcha. Who are we seeing today?”
Pulling the sheet of paper out of my bag, I relay all the information I collected on the current victim of our exploits for today:
Liza Dewy, the head secretary. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as “head” secretary, but according to Nico, there is. Anyway, she got into a fight with Mr. Williams three weeks ago right when the threats started coming, because, well, Mr. Williams got really mad since she kept bringing Mr. Moosey, her fifteen-year-old Himalayan cat to work. He got really mad when Mr. Moosey hacked up a hairball on the head of the CIA’s Louis Vuitton shoes and banished the kitty from the office. Even though I’m not so sure this avid kitty sweater lover could really put a hit out on Mr. Williams, she did look pretty scary with her knitting needles in this one picture on her social networking profile. I haven’t ruled her out for sure.
“So…we’re going to talk to some freaky cat lover that may or may not stab our eyes out with knitting needles?” His stormy eyes swirl with concern, and the corners of his mouth tug down into a frown.
I can’t help but giggle. “Awh, don’t be scared, Watson, I’ll protect you from the big, bad cat lady.”
He scowls. “I really hate you, you know that, right?”
My grin broadens. “You’re totally going to hate me more when you see the outfit I have planned for you, honey buns.”
“You…you have an outfit planned for me?” He narrows his eyes.
“Oh, you betcha.”
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“Stop tugging at it.” Getting a sense of déjà vu, I swat away Nico’s hand from where he’s tugging on the collar of his sky blue, wool sweater vest that has kitties knitted all over at it. I’m not really sure where I found it, but I’m so glad that I did. The pout on his face is just priceless. “What is it with you and tugging things? Stop it.”
“But it’s itchy! Do you want me to die from…the itchy attacks?” His gray eyes meet mine from under the bronze bangs of the wig he’s wearing.
I just glare at him. Finally, he huffs a sigh. “Whatever. You owe me.”
“I’m helping to save your father’s life. Isn’t that enough?” One of my eyebrows arches up, almost to say, “Come at me, bro.”
He rolls his eyes. “Not when you have me shelling out cash like there’s no tomorrow, getting your picture off televisions everywhere, and getting you access to the government database.”
“You’re a fun-killer, you know that, right?” I scrunch up my nose.
Yet again, he rolls his eyes. “Can we just do this? This thing is like a giant man-eating mosquito with weird smiling kittens on it. I want to get out of it as soon as possible.”
“Quit your whining.” Looking over to Ms. Dewy’s desk, I see that she’s finally off her hot pink phone. Erm, I don’t think that is standard issue for all secretaries in the FBI. At least, I hope not, since I can’t imagine a person talking to the President on something that resembles a piece of bubblegum. It’s just wrong.
He huffs. “You don’t have to whine, since you look semi-normal. Although, I must say that I preferred you as a blonde.”
As I roll my eyes, I turn to gaze at him and pat down my curly auburn wig. “Shut up. I hate you.”
He shrugs. “What can I say? You looked better as a blonde.”
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| Zoey Deutch | as Petra Ricci |
| Adam Gregory | as Nico Williams |
| Hugh Laurie | as Uncle Vick |
| Jim Caviezel | as Mr. Williams |
| Dave Franco | as Cooper |