The Way The Twilight Saga SHOULD Have Been Written

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This is nothing I would EVER write. its just for stupidity and fun:) and no. you dont have to like it

actual a/n will be in [ ]....fake a/n will be in ( )

CHAPTER 7000654 lolz no really 1

So like, this morning I woke up and this person was in my room and i was like WTF and they were like haha ima kidnapp you....

(I wasssss gonna end it here)

"Hi! im a vampire and stuff and Isparkle." OH NO!!!! Edward cullen!

"Hi Edward........you have huge biceps.....kisss me."

"I'm Gay." *Jacob walks in*

"Girlfriend, you better back off my man. This ass is mine." i look at him.....why is he talking like a black chick? [No racism intended]

"WHAT! You're gay!?!?!?!" emmett walked in behind edward and started to make out with jacob.

"Hi, I'm rosealin or something like that." Some blonde chick introduced herself.

"And this is Joe, nick And Kevin. they sparkle too, but they aren't vampires." Alice introduced.

"Were just flaming homosexuals with eachother" [ I have nothing against gays] the jonasbrothers said in unison. Then they started to make out, inviting jacob emmet and edward to join.

"AND IM JUSTIN BEIBER!!!!" A little girl said.

"This is my daughter, justin" Alice Said. her husband jasper walked into a room.

"MOM! I'm not a girl. Girls dont have flippy hair and a vagina do they? i didn't think so." Justin beiber said.

"I'm Jasper. And i'm two timing Alice with Hannah montana AND Miley cyrus." Miley cyruswalked in behind himand he turned around and sucked all her blood and killed her. I cried because she is the bestest person in the whole wide world (she really is) [IHATE ALL OF THEPEOPLE IN THIS BOOK]

"Make me a vampire edward." Bella came in the room.

"Go die in a hole you stupid bitch!" he screamed and then jasper killed her and alice and justine beiber too. and thenall of the guys had anorgy party and iset the houseon fire and they all died.

THE END

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Cast

Adam Lambertas Edward
Hilary Duffas Victoria
Justin Bieberas Herself
Nick Jonasas Itself
Joe Jonasas Herself
Kevin Jonasas Himself
Ke$haas Jacob
Paris Hiltonas Jasper
Aaron Carteras Stupd whore...I mean Bella
Jackie Chanas Alice
Taylor Lautneras Rosealie...er however one would spell her nam
Kellan Lutzas Emmet
Miley Cyrusas Stupid whore #2 (Miley Cyrus)
Marilyn Mansonas that other narrator person

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