I remember the first time I ever got my heart broken.
It was my freshmen year at high school and I thought it was going to be the year of changes, new friends, and opportunities. It was going to be the year I reinvented myself and became someone different. I thought it was going to be everything I ever wanted.
It was supposed to be all that stuff the middle school staff tries to sell you.
So when Nate Hook, sophomore captain of the soccer team, finally asked me out after months of flirting, I thought with everything he was the one.
I fell for the whole ‘first love’ crap everyone talks about. Nate Hook was in that moment of my life everything I could ever want.
I believed every line he ever told me, soaked up the sweet little nothings he whispered in my ear, and would follow him around as if I was his little lap dog. I told anyone who was willing to listen to my idiotic thoughts that me and Nate would be together forever.
That we were the real thing.
In highschool love is made out to be this epic thing. It’s the thing everyone wants and when you get, you believe it’s going to last forever. You suddenly start thinking about stupid silly things like meeting his parents and valentines day.
Sure, it was a little bit of a stretch back then, but I believed it. Why else would Nate tell me he loved me? Why else would he tell me we were going to last? I seriously trusted the guy with everything in me. His friends were my friends.
Everything I did, he did.
I used to stay up late like those lovesick girls and write his name in my diary and wake up every morning to these sweet little good morning text messages. He was as much in love with me as I was in love with him.
What changed you might ask?
What made the guy I thought I loved so much destroy the one thing I counted on?
He, like every guy after, all wanted one thing from me and when I didn’t give it up so easily, they all left and would never come back.
I was stupid and thought maybe if I just gave up my virginity to a guy I thought deserved it, then maybe he would stick around and be the guy I wanted him to be. That, just maybe, the problem wasn’t them but me.
That all changed with Jake.
Every. Single. Thing.
My junior year I ended up meeting him in the grocery store . It was a chance accident that turned into something I thought was magical. I was no longer scared Freshmen Kelsey. No, I was different. I thought I knew better.
Jake was there for me every moment of the day and when school got let out, he would be waiting for me even though he went to a different high school at the time. He would shower me with compliments. Shower me with what I thought was his love.
When the night came and I gave myself to him, followed by me saying those three little words ‘I love you‘ , he took off and never talked to me since.
He got his payback though when Mia and I went to the club Majestic and Aiden ended up punching him in the face. It was deserved payback since he lead me on to believe he loved me. And even if he did, the fact that he ran away like a coward and into the arms of another girl warrants Aiden punching him.
Hey, if I could, I would find him again and punch him in the face myself. I’m not a violent person, but he could bring out the worst in me.
I have no idea why I’m thinking of all this messed up shit while staring at Julio, but the way he was smirking at me just reminded me that he probably has done the same thing to so many other girls.