A long time ago Saturday night meant fun. It meant a crazy night out with my friends, and usually a very passionate night with my boyfriend. Then when my brothers arrived it meant staying in and usually drooling over Jax. But now it meant nothing.
I flicked the channel once again. My life really was getting dull, everyone had gone out: well Eric and Liam that is. While I was left here alone with a TV, and the sad part was this wasn't the first Saturday night I had spent like this.
So when the doorbell rang out through the house, it was fair to state that I was overly excited to hear it. That was of course until I opened it.
"You have to be kidding me." I stuttered.
"Amber." Jax's eyes were as cold as ice, and just the sight of him had me clenching my fist tight.
"How did you find me?" I snarled through gritted teeth. Sure I was pissed that he was here but I was madder at myself, well my body's reaction to seeing him. My stomach twisted with nerves and my heart beat increased but nothing was compared to the overwhelming attraction I feeling for him.
"I thought Mai was talking shit, but then it's you who we are talking about." Jax's eyes were locked with mine and it was intimating me.
"Well you've found me now." I crossed my arms, trying to keep my cool.
"That I have." Jax shifted from foot to foot "Can I come in?"
Well I suppose we had a lot to talk about, but that didn't mean I wanted to. In fact I hadn't ever counted on actually having this conversation with him.
"Nice to know you and Mai still chat." I tasted the bitterness in my mouth when I said her name. Closing the door roughly behind him "What exactly do you want to talk about?"
Jax glanced around the little foyer, before slowly bringing his eyes back to me. "Hiding out here is a little pathetic don't you think?"
"Who said I was hiding?" Well the gnome out the front could have told him, heck it was clear what I was doing.
"You don't have too." Jax was clam and to be honest I was shocked. I had expected him to be yelling at me, at least a bit more of a reaction then this. "I'm sorry for what happened, but I can't take it back."
Funny how Jax was so clam about this, and yet I was fuming. "Well sorry cuts it doesn't it."
"Drop the attitude Amber. I just came here to tell you to go home."
"And why would I do that?" Seeing him was one thing but seeing him every day would be another.
"Because you and I are over." Jax shrugged his shoulders carefree.
"Look Amber, I'm over you and this payback or whatever you got planned just drop it. It is wasting your time and it is wasting mine."
Angry was boiling inside of me, but hearing those three words 'I'm over you' sent a cold blanket over the angry and just left me numb.
"You're over me?" I repeated, aimlessly and coldly.
"What did you expect?" Jax arched an eyebrow, actually looking confused "I haven't seen you in months and it wasn't like we were any good together anyway."
"It's been little over a month." I corrected him.
It was a silence between us, and for the first time I realized we were over and I didn't want it to be.
"Amber stop." Jax raised a hand "We're poison together just leave it."
"We weren't poison."
"Whatever we were, it's done. I'm finished with it."
"Well then, I guess you came here and said what you had to say." If anything hearing him being so cold, just made me numb, now I saw my payback wasn't really payback it was more like 'get him back plan.'
"No I haven't." Jax took a step forward, towering over me slightly. "Go home Amber. I'm not having you running around playing games. Just go home to your family and work it out. There is no point hiding here trying to get back at me."
"Ok." It was one empty word that came out and to be honest it felt like a death sentence. It was utterly depressing. I reached behind me and opened the door for him to leave.
For some unknown reason I followed him out and actually walked to the footpath to his bike with him, in complete silence. Maybe I was still in shock about what had just happened.
"Bike's clean." I muttered, looking over the black beast.
"She's my life." Jax said easily and I picked up on the hollowness in his voice too. Did he really want us over?
The dark circles under his eyes told me he hadn't been sleeping but I knew I had no right to ask him why he hadn't been.