Ursa Minor (On hiatus)

The Garden of Eden

Dedicated to ricky1128 for being one of my first reviewers and sticking with me. Hope you'll like this one! :)

__________________________________________________

The attic was reached by opening a door and climbing up a poky stairway. Wooden panel and framed pictures of fishing trips, of a time when Simon and Bevan didn't live their lives in the nighttime, during weekends. Step by step more of the attic came into sight. The first person I laid eyes on was Bevan, the younger brother of party holder. Already wasted, his lead lolling against the couch cushions. Simon sitting next to him seemed more lucid.  

"Matt O'Neill! Long time no see!"

He got up, and we did that awkward back pat/man hug. A wolf-like grin on his face. His spiky hair dark red from a bottle. Black clothes. A stud glimmering underneath his lip. We looked somewhat alike, but Simon really was the antithesis of me. He said 'Yeah, whatever' all the time and actually meant it. Even having to retake senior year had been a shrug to him. He'd been able to graduate, but that'd been about it. Now he worked weekends at an alternative store in Glen, and spent the rest partying or something like that. I wasn't sure why his parent's didn't throw him out. Out of the kindness of their heart. Or because Simon had threatened to kill them if they did.

Simon and Bevan were still kings of their parents' upper floor. And literary on top of their two grand bedrooms they had this hideout. The only furniture the couch and some random cushions and chairs. Stacks of old jigsaw puzzle boxes, folded nasty looking bedspreads in the eaves. A skylight that I'd been standing smoking many times, looking out over other seemingly sleeping houses. But it was too cold to keep it open now, and the room was already foggy, not aiding my blurred vision. But I couldn't see any neon hoodie, and that was what counted right now.

"Sit down and help yourself," Simon offered after inquiring about my whereabouts. He made a sweeping motion with his arm, like a lord at a banquet. I sat down next to Adam on the floor by the couch. Hard and cold, covered only by a thin carpet. The few cushions already occupied. No one else seemed to be bothered, but by now they probably couldn't care less if they lost a limb to hypothermia. As long as the booze kept flowing, the smoke kept passing from hand to hand, lips to lips.

Adam inhaled deeply, but as soon as he looked the other way I passed it on to the guy sitting on the chair close to me. It all made me think of the prayer circle, wishes instead of weed. Which made me think of Allen's smooth wrist, his pulse underneath my fingers. It pinched only thinking about him now. Hurt. Had he been hurt that I left? Disappointed? Maybe. Maybe it was what he expected. But I wanted him to expect other things from me. Unexpected things. I didn't dodge the bottle that followed, gulping down more than I'd planned. Trying to get away from the thoughts of Allen. And the pinch.

"He's going to ruin everything," I mumbled to no one in particular, my voice thick. 

"Who? What?" Adam asked, looking at me confused. His dark eyes already hazy. 

"Like my whole life, fucking everything," I said louder, feeling the anxiety appearing from nowhere. The smoke hanging in the air around me didn't help either. 

"Yeah, I hate people like that," Adam said empathically, not having a clue what I was talking about. But hey, I didn't even know myself. Adam slung his arm around my shoulder. "Man, I've missed you." 

I tried to shrug him off. "Yeah, whatever, get off me." 

"When you're away I'm lost." Ade droned, still halfway strangling me. "You're like my wing-man, you should be my wings you know?"

I snorted. Looked over at the passing bottles on the other side of the circle. Locked eyes with a girl who looked familiar. Cassie. A junior. Eyes like grass. I'd met her and a friend of hers this spring at some party with Ade. In line with my new good guy ways I'd not hooked up with her or her friend, even if I clearly could have. Ade had been mystified. Now she smiled and left her place to slip down next to me. Long skinny legs. Long shiny hair. Pretty. I'd hooked up with girls less pretty. I remembered thinking she could have been girlfriend material back then in the spring. But then I hadn't been very interested in having one. And now I'd already found someone else. Who trusted me not to behave exactly like I was behaving now. Whatever. Whatever, whatever. I did care about Lis. But Cassie clearly didn't.