# pic on the side is Luca, Jasmine's baby brother.
25 December 2010
"Je sais maman, je le ferai..... Quand allez-vous revenir?.... Oui hahaha... E vous ai manquestrop maman. Et dire papa me manque... Joyeux Noel, maman. Je T'aime.... Oui. Au revoir" I smiled and hung up.
Maman. She called from New York to ask is everything alright. And of course, saying merry Christmas. Maman and papa lives in New York with my litte brother. I'd rather call him baby brother, it would make him upset.
He's taking a college there. Whilst me, deciding to live on my own here, in Paris. They insist me to come along, or one of them live with me. But I told them it's alright and Luca needs them more.
I miss Luca and his funny attitude. I would ruffled his dirty blond hair and kissed his cheek. He would scowled at me and avoid my hand. He's only one year younger before me but I always play the protective big sister on him. Even he's trying to look 'all grown up' but he's a softie inside.
Once, I had a really bad day. Everything is a mess. I was really upset and tired. And people has been bugging me out. I was lying in my bed. Then he knocked the door and asked me in a small voice could he come in. I said yes and he and his boyish smile came in.
"What do you want, Luca" I snapped angrily at him He would just come in and borrowed something for me and never give it back. "Please just get out"
He sat and gave me a hurtful look. I felt guilty. How could I be so rude. I bit my lips and I felt tears pricking in my eyes. I can't believe I was so rude to my baby brother.
He sat down there, on my chair fiddling with his fingers. He was nervous, I could tell. He always do that when he's nervous. Or embarrassed. And he would flick his head up and down- just like what he just did now.
"Uhhh I j-just want t-to make sure you're okay" He muttered in french. "I thought something- uh bothering you"
My heart melt. I smiled and lifted myself up. "Did you eat something wrong today, baby brother?" I teased him. He scowled at me and got up. "No- wait! Sit down" I laughed.
"You're a really mean sister" He sighed and rolled himself to my guitar. "I was about to cheer you up"
"You were?" I asked him, feeling surprised. He grinned at me and strum the guitar. It was out of tune. He frowned and tuned the guitar. "Why?" I asked softly.
He shrugged. "You're my big sister" He said as if it solves all the problems. I smiled at him. He got the tune right and cried in delight. He started playing the guitar and he sang out.
"I wanna know who ever told you I was letting go? The only joy that I have ever known, girl they're lying. Just look around and all of the people that we used to know-
I sang out with him, smiling.
"Have given out they wanna, let it go but we're still trying"
He stopped singing and let me sing the next verse.
"So you should know this love we share was never made to die I'm glad we're on this one way street, just you and I-
He sang in.
"Just you and I. I'm never gonna say goodbye Cause I never wanna see you cry"
At the word cry he looked at me and smiled. I know what's his pointed look means.
"I swear to you my love would remain and I swear it all over again and I, I'm never gonna treat you bad cause I never wanna see you sad I swear to share your joy and your pain and I swear it all over again"
He stopped singing, so did I. Then he played the tunes of the song. I sat there listening. Swear It All Over Again is our favorite song. When I was 6 and he was 5 we learnt the song by heart. We always love Westlife. And their songs.
"Thank you, Luca" I smiled.
"Are you okay now?" He asked hopefully.
"Oui. Better than ever" I whispered. He grinned and put my guitar down. He hugged me and I kissed his cheek. "Thank you baby brother" I ruffled his hair. And like always, he scowled at me.
*End of Flashback*
Maman was calling to check if everything okay with me and of course, saying merry christmas. Christmas. The word tug something sensitive in my heart. Two years ago just like today, I lose Josh.
Forget it, Jas. I told myself. "Music music music.." I mumbled to myself. I put my iPod on the dock and started playing Michael Buble. I need a little.. Jazz. I sang my heart out to his song L.O.V.E. This is my papa's favorite song!