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Feelings So Deep Inside (ft. Kendall Knight and Lucy Stone)

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Kendall stood in line at the coffee shop, waiting for his ‘name’ to be called so he could get the drink his sister had asked for and leave. He adjusted the beanie on his head, pushing his bangs back and off of his forehead. With a sharp exhale, he looked at his phone to see that only a minute had passed. He tapped his foot impatiently, unlocking the phone and opening that last text message he’d sent.

‘I’m sorry.’

“Pablo?” The barista called, nearly slamming the cup on the counter and hurrying back to the cash register. Kendall walked over, grabbed the cup, and fished for the dollar he knew he had in his pocket, dropping it into the empty tip jar. The chubby, brunette man gave him an exhausted smile and thanked him as he walked out the door.

Kendall settled the cup into the cup-holder of his mother’s car and buckled his seatbelt. He closed his eyes and relaxed against the headrest, reliving the past week. He, and his... whatever she was, had gotten into a fight on Monday, and Kendall, being the iron-willed person he was raised to be, had said some things that seemed alright in the moment. Now, however, he regretted every single word that had left his mouth Monday morning. He had royally fucked up, going as far as saying that he didn’t really care for Lucy, the girl he’d had some sort of relationship with, and leaving her alone in her tiny, empty apartment. Every time his eyes were shut, he saw the tears falling from her dark eyes, fury and confusion evident in them. The girl had fallen in love with him, and although he wasn’t afraid of commitment, he just couldn’t bring himself to say he felt the same way.

Well, he didn’t, but he had a good thing going for him and he’d be damned if he let it go. He’d be damned if he ended things with the only girl that seemed to enjoy his company at the time. He didn’t want to feel the way he had felt after his first love left the country to film her first feature film trilogy- abandoned and disheartened. Sure, he’d had “first loves” before, but never like Josephine, whose blonde hair and big smile had left their mark in his heart; and as soon as she’d left, in waltzed Lucy. Her narrow, brown eyes and sardonic wit attracted him to her, her initial rejection of him leaving him with a desire for more. Kendall couldn’t help but go over what he’d said, why he’d left her alone after everything that had gone down. The argument had escalated, and while his temper was usually under control, he couldn’t avoid losing his cool when Lucy said she was moving out of her current apartment, and into a new one- on the East coast.

He opened his eyes and grabbed his phone out of his pocket, reading over the text he had sent to her a while ago. He held the phone with both hands and began to type, a hard thing for the stubborn boy to do. After he was done, he tossed his phone on to the empty passenger seat and glanced at the cup of coffee his sister had requested.

That has to be disgusting by now, he thought. His phone buzzed for the first time that day, startling him.

‘I leave at noon.’ Lucy had responded, her voice ringing through Kendall’s ears. He looked at the time and started the ignition. He had an hour before she had to be at the airport.

-

“I never took you for the kind of guy that would say something like that, you know,” Lucy spoke softly. Her eyes bore into Kendall’s as she continued. “I know you went through a hard time with whatever her name was, but I thought you’d be over it, considering it happened a year and a half ago.”

Kendall licked his lips periodically, silence penetrating the air of Lucy’s vacant living room. They stared at each other, their hearts heavy.

“I was wrong to act the way I did,” he confessed, pressing his lips together quickly before relaxing and continuing. “I just,” he searched for the right words to say, “dove in too quickly. Jo left, and then, a couple of weeks later, you were walking past me in the lobby and-”

“That’s all you,” Lucy tucked a strand of her dark hair behind her ear, revealing the multiple piercings Josephine would have never even thought about getting. He stared for what seemed like minutes and realized that it was their differences that attracted him to the smokey-eyed girl in the first place. On paper, they were absolute opposites, each complementing a different part of the blonde boy.

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