What You Give

3/M

"Then I discovered that being related is no guarantee of love!"

~Stieg Larsson~

***

The faucet squeaks as I turn it off and step to the side to grab my towel. Showering at the hospital is far from soothing, and does little to ease my stress from the day; however, if I showered at home, it would give Lucky incentive to try talking again. I love her voice, but I don’t need her advice right now.

I wrap the towel around my waist and pad out the door to my locker. My eyelids are struggling to stay open with every step I take. Sleep. I need sleep. I haven’t gotten hardly any, lately. Even so, I know that the longer I take, the less likely it is that she’ll still be up. I’m shaken from my daze as I run right into another person as I’m turning the corner.

“Hey man! Sorry, sorry, didn’t see you.” He holds his hands up and sidesteps toward the door.

“No it’s fine, no worries.” I look him over: nice slacks, white t-shirt untucked, messy brown hair. I’ve never seen him before. “Um, have we met?”

“Seeing as this is my first day, I doubt it.” He holds his hand out, and I shake it. “Peter. Peter Walsh.”

“Ernest, well, Ernie, McMiller. You specialize, or…”

“Pediatrician. At least for now, anyway.” He smirks confidently, and I am reminded of someone I can’t place at the moment.

“Ah. Well it’s nice to meet you.” I’m suddenly aware that I’m still in a towel, and I can feel my face heat.

“Yeah, you too.” He turns to open the door to the showers but changes his mind suddenly and faces me once again. “We’re about the same age, right?”

“Well I don’t know you or your age, but I’d assume so, yes.”

“Then we should… I don’t know, I don’t know anyone here and you seem cool. We should get a drink sometime, or something.” He says it cockily, but I can see in his features he’s genuinely interested in hanging out.

“Uh yeah ok. Sounds good to me.” I flash him a grin to make myself appear less awkward than I feel. I mean, he’s basically asked me out and I’m in a towel and I’m straight and I don’t know if he knows that. Dear God, this is stressful. I do not need more stress.

“Uhm I – Uh I have a girlfriend,” I blurt. Great.

“I have many. Congratulations.” With a shake of his head, he steps over the threshold.

That was the most uncomfortable, dorky moment I’ve had since high school. This thing with my parents is literally going to ruin my life. The lock on my locker is broken, which would worry me if I had anything worth stealing. Bill keeps telling me he’ll give me his spare from home, but he has yet to remember to bring it to work; too distracted by Lisa, I’m sure. I’d like to be like them, one day… My phone had barely any battery before I got in the shower, but apparently, it had enough for me to receive four messages from Lue asking me questions. I don’t even bother to read them, and lock my phone.

I pull my clothes from my locker and dress quickly. Tugging the shirt over my head, I debate internally whether I should go to the store and buy all the things I know Lucky forgot or just go home and crawl in my bed and sleep. I have work tomorrow and I still haven’t packed completely, so it’ll be a long day regardless. And I’ll have to get up early to make the drive back home…

My decision is made for me. I throw my bag over my shoulder, grabbing my keys and heading for the apartment. Perhaps, by some miracle, I’ll actually fall asleep tonight.