fix you // liam payne

chapter nine // impossible.

ellie's pov

 I can feel the effects of my long shift throughout my entire body. It becomes more and more difficult to pick up my feet, instead I end up dragging them across the linoleum; my eyes become harder and harder to keep open; every part of my body feels gross and groggy. 

That's exactly why I muster up all the energy I have left to push myself towards the main office, clocking out finally, happy that my fourteen hour shift is over. The nurses working behind the main desk give me a sympathetic smile. Josie even reaches out to give me a pat on the back.

"Don't burn yourself out, kid," She warns me, repeating her advice she shares with me on a weekly basis. 

I simply nod, sliding my clipboard back in it's file before heading down the hall.

Each night before I head home for the evening and collapse on my couch - not even being able to make it to my bed - I've made a last minute check-up on Liam. I just can't help myself. I've tried to just go home like every other normal person working here, but I just can't. I know I won't be able to sleep well until I know Liam's fine for the night. 

I cautiously check around Liam's room, knowing if Dr. Frenette catches me working after I've clocked out, he'll kill me. It wouldn't be the first time I got in trouble for working more than I'm supposed to. 

But I don't really see taking care of Liam 'work'. It's gotten to the point that I'm concerned for him as a friend, not just because I'm supposed to and it's my  job. 

Not wanting to wake him up, I don't knock at all, instead I slowly and silently open the door, tip toeing in. 

But instead of finding a sleepy Liam - which is probably one of the most adorable sights on this earth - I find a sight that does the opposite of reassure me. My stomach drops as I lay eyes on Liam, red eyed and crying. 

I've never felt so sick to my stomach before. I act quickly, my heart pounding loudly in my chest as Liam continues to sob into his large hands. I shut the door behind me and hurry across the floor, shoving my hair out of my face.

"Liam," I say softly, reaching out to place a hand on his bare shoulder. 

Liam jumps, practically leaping out of his bed. His tear stained face quickly turns to look me in the eyes. As his bloodshot eyes meet mine, I can feel my chest crumpling, making my own chin quiver. 

"Is everything alright?" I ask gently, reaching out to pull a chair to his bedside, sitting there with my most comforting face possible, without breaking down myself. 

"Ellie," He sniffles, desperately trying to wipe his tears, "You're not usually - I thought you - I'm fine," He stammers, doing a horrible job at acting as if nothing were wrong. 

 With the back of his shaky hand, he tries to wipe his tears, but like an open wound, the moment he wipes his cheeks dry, they're soaked within moments again. Not wanting to upset him even further, I stay silent a few moments. 

Soon he gives up trying to wipe his eyes and drops his arms to his side once again. His eyes don't venture to mine again, instead he stares up at the ceiling, wearing a miserable expression on his face as tears continue to stream and his chin continues to quiver. 

The two of us sit in silence for awhile - him stuck in this saddened trance, and me stuck in a concern so high, I don't even know what to do. 

Finally, he breaks the silence, his voice cracking and trembling,

"Ellie, you don't have to sit here with me." 

I can tell by the way he avoids my eyes that he's quite embarrassed of being in this state with me around. For some reason, that bothers me. I hate knowing the fact that he doesn't trust me enough to break down around me. Although that may be selfish of me, I can't help but to want him to trust me.