I'm still at the edge of the pit and trying not to go..

I tried to die the other day I thought it was my time

Even said farewell by text with one of Bilbo's lines

The ringing in my ears is driving me around the bend

getting louder now with numbing pain that I think will never end

So I left the house and walked away for just a little while

I went down a path and under a bridge and over a log style

The noise came too I knew it would it just will not relent

Twin turbines on overdrive now making my life a torment

I walked and passed a squirrel who minded me not a lot

Said a passing hello to a woman who smiled and called her dog

I walked around the back of a school now with children out at play

Then over the brow of a field I went and down a bit of a way

The ringing always with me with every step that I take

But I carried on slowly walking coming down then to a lake

There I followed a path with some hoof prints there in the ground

In the trees above was birdsong but that wasn't the only sound

It was still and calm and peaceful there and quite warm really with the sun

And while I walked the wooded way I thought of my life nearly done

And there was my hut now so cool empty and inviting

So I sat down inside it with thoughts I'm no longer fighting

Just then another dog ran along whose owner looked in as she went by

I startled her but replied with hello and said sorry too with no lie

Then I got out my blade and looked at its edge closely

Just a swift stroke it would take and best to do it quickly

I pressed the edge against the skin on my left arm

Then lifted it off slowly and admired the small harm

Just then I heard footsteps running fast and quickly drawing near

And through the hole in the wall did this head and shoulders appear

It was Paddy, a friend, who found me, and I quite liked him before

Then Mike and then Ali followed and they came in through the door

They all sat down beside me and said things that I'm sure were dear

And all I could do was sit there silently shaking with my tears

So now they're checking up on me asking questions with searching eyes

And they ask again and again because they don't believe my lies

My thoughts are confusing, scary, and very wrong I know

Cos I'm still at the edge of the pit and trying not to go