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Starting Over

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I was nervous. I didn't want to go to 'class' with the bunch of guys. They'd know I was nervous, scared even. I didn't want to be clobbered by a bunch of guys.

I didn't want a stranger to be pressed up against me. Mason warned me that the training consists of recruits grappling with each other. He tried to convince me that this group had their wolves under control, but I wasn't convinced.

I looked down at what I was wearing. The spandex capris clung to me like a second skin.

The dent on my thigh from the attack was obvious and it made me feel self conscious. My boobs were strapped down with a sports bra and I had a loose tank top on. After becoming a werewolf I lost a lot of weight, so I felt too skinny. I knew that's not how guys would look at it. They'd just see a thin, weak woman who they could pin to the ground.

I closed my eyes and tried to focus. If I could call upon my wolf to help relieve my fear, I wouldn't have such a huge target on my back.

Come on. I thought to myself. I'm scared.

I felt my wolf stir. We'll be together.

I felt my wolf's confidence strengthen me.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Thanks.

Then I felt excited. I was going to get to socialize after so long of seeing 2-3 people. We were finally under control. I glanced in the mirror before walking out of my room. My eyes were lighter than they normally are. The guys I hadn't met yet wouldn't know, but anyone who knew me would see the amber in my eyes.

"Are you ready?" I jumped at the sound of the voice. It was female, so I didn't panic.

I smiled guiltily at Casey, who just had a teasing smile on her face.

"I'm ready."

 Her smile widened as she looked into my eyes. "Called upon your wolf huh?"

I looked down, felling guilty. "I was scared."

"It's a good idea. It'll keep you calmer. She'll be more aware of the wolves than you will."

"Do you think anyone will notice?"

"They'll know that your wolf has ascended. They'll want to assert their dominance over you. It's all about their pride."

"What should I do if they try that?"

She shrugged, "Depends. If your wolf feels you can take them, do it. If you know that it's useless, then give up quickly. You don't want to risk a major injury. That's not why we're here."

I nodded. "It's just hard, how am I supposed to know anything?"

"It'll be hard for a while. You just need to listen to yout wolf. It's all instinct to her."

"Will you be there?"

She nodded. "Yep. Amanda's going to be in her wolf form. I'll set up communication between us all. We'll help you if you start panicking."

Casey took me to the area where I'd be training today. There were only around 7 of them.

I had envisioned a field full of men, so I was relieved.

I wasn't scared anymore. My wolf wouldn't let me feel fear. Not here. Not while surrounded by people she trusted.

"Go join the group. There's nothing worse than special treatment in these kinds of groups. They'll know you're special because you're a girl as it is."

"Alright." I knew how to fit in with a group of guys. Most of my coworkers have been men. I just had to be myself.

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