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1. Parents spent the first half of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk and the rest telling us to sit down and shut up.


2. Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.


3. 364 days out of the year, parents tell kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween it's encouraged? Why is that?


4. No, I don't have PMS, I just really hate you.


5. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant, flash and then it's gone.


6. Stupidity is not a crime so you're free to go.


7. Having the love of your life say you can still be friend's is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.


8. Therapist= the/rapist... scary thought.


9. Tell the truth and run.


10. Don't follow me, I'm lost too.


11. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.


12. WARNING: Do NOT walk in my foot steps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.


13. I'll try to be nicer if you'll try to be smarter.


14. It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.


15. So what if we act like immature idiots? We're having fun.


16. If at first you don't succeed skydiving isn't for you.


17. Do I have to spell it out for you or scram it in your face?


18. Education is important, school however is another mater.


19. Armatures built the ark, Professionals built the Titanic...


20. How is it possible to have a 'civil' war?


21. Why do people say, "you cant have your cake and eat it too."? Why would someone get cake if they weren't going to eat it?


22. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.


23. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meets strange people, and then kill them.


24. Guns don't kill people. I do.


25. It requires MORE courage to suffer then to die.


26. To die is nothing but a long good-bye.


27. Do not take life too seriously. No one gets out alive.


28. Why are 'wise man' and 'wise guy' opposites?


29. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?


30. Only in America... do people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke.


31. Ever wonder why the sun lightens your hair and darkens your skin?


32. Ever wonder why doctors call what they do 'practice'?


33. Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.


34. Fear is easier the understanding.


35. Replace the fear of the unknown with curiosity.


36. Everything has to end the good and the bad.


37. I am forever here to pull you back up or fall down with you.


38. Death is just the beginning.


39. I'm not a good guy, but I'm not a bad guy either.


40. Nothing save's anyone's life, it just postpones their death.


41. Don't ask for the moon when you have the stars.


42. There are 1.2 million people in this country, you ask me why I want to be different, why do you want to be the same?


43. Good-bye is the hardest word.


44. You like people for their qualities, you love them for their differences.


45. In the absence of light, darkness prevails.


46. Life is random, and so am I.


47. Anger is one letter short of danger.


48. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.


49. I made you and I can break you just as easily.


50. I'll be your rainy day girl.


51. My history is not a memory, it's a curse.


52. Just because your right doesn't mean I'm wrong.


53. Life without a friend is like death without a witness.


54. NEVER back down.


55. Why is it called tourist season if you can't shoot them?


56. Ageing is inevitable, but Maturing is optional.


57. You're so tough and I want to be your weakness.


58. Never settle with words what you can settle with a flame thrower.


59. You're my girl to the fullest. If you're shooting the place up, I'm bringing the bullets.


60. I found the EXIT door in life [it's called death].


61. Gorgeous but lethal.


62. The ability to look at something and see the beauty amongst the devastation is an art.


63. I'm like a rose, I might be fine to look at, but watch out for my thorns.


64. You have got to learn the rules before you break them.


65. Death is not the worst thing.


66. I want to feel the thunder I want to scream.


67. You've got enemies? Good that means you stood up for something.

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