Bobbins... Nom nom nom. I like food. Well that's not true. I love food! I would have food babies if I coulda then it would eat them! Ompkmomomomok nomonomnomnom.
My name is Bobbins. Bobbins Juan Junior Perez Diaz Marcato Rodriguez. It's a great name. One I would never ever change.
Man I was looking at this burger the other day. It was so greasy and so welcoming, I swear you could get diabetes from that thing by just looking at it. Yum. So I decided to over and eat it, maybe take a selfie or two with it. To spice things up. I strode over to the diabetic delicacy. My mouth practically mouth watered over it.
Suddenly a rough hand grabbed the beauty and scarfed it down his throat. My eyes dilated and moved to the side of my head. "Fuuuuuuuuiiiiiiiuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" I screamed out loud. Louder than I have ever screamed before. BadBoy Jenkins made out with the burger, caressing it with his foul tongue. Ohhhhh! I was angry! Really f$&@ angry. That kid liked celery! Celery! Healthily food sucks!. Ohh, someone was going to hear about this from me!
FoodBook
IlikeFud.- that jerk wad are my f$@@ burger.
Starbuckslovr- lol gurl, that is so totally not right!
Ilikefud- damn straight!
Starbuckslovr - I. Mean if someone took my frappe I would freaking rip the person genitals out.
Ilikefud - ewww
...
Jackie... I love Starbucks. Mmmmmmmmmmm,m,mm,mmmmmmmmmmm.
...
Bobbins... The next day at school I ran up to Jenkins and punched the guy in the balls. Hard! He grunted and fell to the floor. I then shoved a whole bundle of celery into his mouth. "That'll teach not to eat my Hamburger!" I screamed. Jackie walked over to me. "Gurl you so totally killed his babies." She laughed her idiotic white gurl laugh. I just modded my head and moved on.
Soon I found myself at lunch. Perfect lunch. That day I fell in love. With another food group. I walked over to the salad. The perfect curvature of the tomato slices, the succulence of the cucumbers. I bit deep and felt the juices of the different veggies enter my mouth. Each taste bud spammed in delight. It was enlightenment.
A couple hours later I began to have a stomach ache. Time to poo!
Ten minutes later I had relieved myself of the foul excrement.
I longed for my grease, my meat. But it was never to be again.
The Meat Song.
Meat is yummy.
But now,I can't have it in my tummy.
It has been loved by another.
One that cannot be born of any mother.
I love veggies.
They are healthy.
The end.
Good,job FaithKillers for writing a great story I could parody!
