After school I took the bus to the Cvs, my mind had been racing all day and I was thinking of nothing but the fact that I may be pregnant.
I shoved the bag with the tests in my bag and went straight to the bathroom. Reading the instructions I followed them step by step. I paced back and forth in the wheelchair accessible stall my heart pounding against my chest. I could kiss all my plans after high school goodbye. My sister--instead of letting me go to foster care room me in, she quit school and took care of me and this is what I do.
I stared at the tests on the back of the toilet and they both read pregnant 3-4 wks.
My body became cold and I did nothing but stare at the small print, how could I let this happen with a guy I don't even know.
My stomach dropped when I heard the bathroom door open and I flushed the toilet and shoved the tests in the bag and threw them away before washing my hands and leaving.
I am so screwed to the next level and I don't know what to do, I won't be 18 for another four months either. Kate is gonna kill me. Especially because the dad shouldn't be the dad.
I took the long way home trying my best to figure out what to do. I can get rid of it and never look back or run away. I can barely take care of myself let alone a kid. My mind was racing and the only option I had was to get rid of it.
I went to school as normal the rest of the week, I did homework when I got home and slept the rest of the night. On Saturday morning I went to the clinic I talked myself through it and I am going to do it. I have to I can't bring something in this world so precious.
There was girls in the waiting room all different some with big bellys some without. I'm sure we all had the same thing going on in our head. Why is she here?
"Aubree."A nurse called me and led me to a small room, with a bed and a desk and computer.
"You're here for termination of pregnancy ?"She asked.
I nodded.
"How far along?"The nurse asked fixing her glasses.
"I don't know."
"When was your last period?"She asked. I shut my eyes trying to think back.
"May the 15th."
"That would make you...15weeks."She said."You're almost four months."
How the hell didn't I know I forgot all about my period. I felt something in my stomach, like a flutter or something.
"We would have to go inside and take the baby out that way, you're to far along for the abortion pill."The nurse said.
"Ok."I said.
"Do you have someone reliable to care for you afterwards."
I shook my head no.
"We can't do the process unless you have a ride home."
My eyes stung.
"Do you do the ultrasound things?"I asked.
The nurse removed her glasses and looked at me.
"I felt it move."I said softly. Wiping away a tear that fell.
"Let me go see something."She said getting my file and stepping out of my room, leaving me by myself.
The tears fell because I could no longer hold them back. The lump in my throats was becoming to painful to swallow and I cried.
There was a soft knock on my door and I quickly wiped my face.
"Hi I'm Dr Carol."A lady stepped in. She reminded me of my mom with her short blond hair and those soft eyes.
"Hi."I sniffled.
"How's it going."She smiled sitting in the chair the nurse sat in.
"Good, I just..."I shrugged wiping away another tear.
"We can do the sonogram if you want instead of the termination, some women don't want that because they don't want to see or hear the fetus."
"I'm scared. I...don't know what to do."I cried.
"Oh honey."Nurse carol rubbed my knee."How about I give you some time and I'll come back."
"No I wanna do the sonogram."I nodded.
"You sure?"She smiled.
"I nodded."
"Alright."
