Blue Moon Rising

He Wasn't

 *italicized paragraph are flashbacks/dreams/mind links/thoughts

Title from Avril Lavigne

Hope’s POV

I lay in bed staring at the ceiling.

It has been three days since we started packing, but only a day since I broke it off with Dean.

But it felt longer.

For some reason, I wasn’t as bothered or as hurt as I thought I would be. Like how I’ve seen Fate before Ken decided to come with us.

No.

I was just…

Relieved?

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that he was my first boyfriend, and I didn’t even see it to be all that serious, but still. I was losing a person who I thought I like, and I was losing him forever.

Shouldn’t there be disappointment or maybe a little angry at mom and dad?

Well, there is disappointment and anger… on Dean.

I shrugged and shook my head, what’s wrong with me?

I felt a warm breeze go through my terrace door which I had left open seeing that being in the middle of piles of boxes could actually heat up the room.

My thoughts were disturbed by a knock on the door.

“Hey…” I looked up and saw my dad stepping through the already open doors and looked around. “You almost done here sweetheart?”

“Yeah, mom said I can just pack the sheets on the night before we leave, then we’ll get a hotel room before we head off.” I said looking around at my bare room.

“Well, I guess your mom had it all planned out.” he sighed and sat beside me and gave me a look. “You ok?”

I sighed and dropped my shoulders. “What’s wrong with me dad?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I just broke up with Dean, right?”

“Thank the mother moon for that…” he says underneath his breath and I gave him a look which earned me a smirk, “Continue.”

“Well, don’t I supposed to feel something?” I asked. “I hurt him and I don’t feel anything. I mean, I should be crying or fighting with you guys, but I’m not.” I paused, “I’m actually sort of relieved that I am leaving this place.”

“Hm, seems like your thoughts are all over the place.” He said.

“Huh?”

“What is really bothering you?” he asked, “At first you pointed out your breakup with Dean, that you are worried that you aren’t feeling anything, but then you say you feel ok with leaving home. What is it really?”

“I told you dad, there is something wrong with me.” I groaned dropping myself in bed.

He laughs and pulled me back up before pulling me to his side and putting an arm around me.

“Baby, there is nothing wrong with you.” he said. “This is just all too much, I guess. I really can’t blame you if you are thinking a lot of things, but sweety…” I faced him, “If it’s about Dean and you not feeling any guilt of leaving him, then maybe there was something wrong that you never acknowledged as wrong, that the whole time you were together you thought of him as perfect. But that all changed now, your view shifted and not everything seems to be what you thought it was.”