Junk Food: Critiques [OPEN]

Shaunti by EKShortStories

First off, the cover: while strolling through your profile (and adding all your Sherlock fanfics to my library, oops), I noticed that all your covers were great, and your cover for Shaunti does not disappoint. It fitted the story well, and it looked professional. Where in the world do you get them from?

All in all, I thoght your book was well written. The quality exceeds the quality of most Wattpad books, including mine. But anyways, since it's all well, I'm going to turn on my stricter mode.

There are some quotations that were improperly punctuated from the inside. Some meaning not exceeding one hand for the entirety of the five chapters I've read, so you need to edit a little more if you want to make it publishing perfection (which I think it already is). When a clause is being stated, use a comma (,) instead of a period before the closing quotation mark.

The flow of your story is very easy to follow, but at times, there's a lack of something I'd call a "bridge". For example, in the second chapter when they ran over the wold, you didn't mention them driving back home. It was just that and then in the next paragraph, they were at one of their homes. It could disturb some readers (although not by much), so you could add something that would make them assume that they drove home.

There isn't really a big problem anywhere, but here and there the flow is a little awkward. Tiny pauses, awkward laughter, stuttering, just tiny details that will make it natural. Maybe better descriptions of fear and pain and other intense emotions that need to be worded for the readers to form a better graphic picture.

I would rate this nine over ten. It's a stunning piece on its own, and I think there's a tiny step left before it becomes deserving of a platform bigger than Wattpad. Good job! (I can't wait to read your Sherlock fan fictions)