Update time whoa!! Enjoy :D
I sighed wrapping my arms around his neck murmuring, "Sure."
He pulled me closer to him and started swaying to the music causing me to move with him. I tried to ignore the buzzing of my nerve endings and the excitement in my heart and mind from his touch. Lacey's song was so relevant to Shawn and I's strangled relationship and to my feelings, I felt as if they would burst free at any moment. Some sort of bravery came into my gut and I gently laid my head on his shoulder. I also had to ignore the fact my head fit perfectly there, like I should belong in that spot. When I felt him sigh deeply I started to move away, taking it as me being to forward. Then I felt him place a hand lightly on the back of my neck against my hair, holding me in place. I guess he didn't want me to move after all.
I can't believe this I'm slow dancing with the man I love more than I knew what to do with, standing under the dark summer night sky to a song written for us. Despite everything that happened today and all the things I now knew, the danger that was coming. I felt happy, just being with Shawn made everything seem all right. But that lurking sense that at any moment I could lose him forever wouldn't fade and I wish I knew how to stop that fear from becoming a reality. I felt the sudden urge to tell him the truth, not about Jorel or Mia, but me and the fact I was in love with him. Maybe, just maybe I won't lose him or even have to risk it, that's only if he loves me too.
"Shawn?" I murmur against his jacket.
I was somewhat unsure how to start so with a shaky voice I asked, "You'll always be my best friend right?"
He holds me tighter murmuring, "Always, even if you didn't want to be around me, you still work with me."
I could tell he was trying to make things lighter, but who's sake I did not know. I laughed at his joke, but went back to business, "No matter what I do? Like something that could make you hate me?"
"What in the world could make me hate you? I think by now you know I can forgive you for just about anything."
"There are certain things that if I say them, you just might hate me."
"And what would that be?"
I could tell that my bravery was on the verge of fading, "I don't know if I should tell you or not."
"Can I guess?"
I debated on it for a moment, if he got it right then I would tell him and if he didn't then I wouldn't. So I said, "Go ahead."
“Okay here it goes; I’m just going to wing it. You seem scared to tell me something and I bet its rather important." He stated and tilled his head to the side asking, "Nothing bad is happening to you right?"
I gripped his jacket tightly unconscious of doing it at first and thinking, 'Damn him for being so intuitive, but on the wrong thing. I can't say what Jorel is doing to me, it'll get us killed. Just guess Shawn, guess. You've had it right before, all you need to do is remember. Just remember that I love you.'
I sighed, "No, but you have got the guess right once before."
I listened to him gasp and moved his head to look at me with scared hopeful eyes. I felt my chest tighten from being short of breath as I prayed that he understood.
"You actually do have feelings for me?"
"Yes, I've had them for awhile now." I murmur now not looking him in the face because of my blush consuming it.
He removed the hand that was in between my shoulders to under my chin, lifting my gaze up. He questioned me with, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"Because... I was scared and then you were engaged. There were all these times I have tried to tell you, but... you wouldn't listen." I breathed the words, afraid of there power.
"But why are you with Jorel?"
"Because you're getting married and I need to move on, don't I?" I asked right back letting a bitter edge into my tone.
He was quiet for a moment and so was everything else around us, then popped out another question, "When did it start?"
"Before your engagement, before you kissed me, and honestly I have no memory of when it happened exactly to a tee." I explain dropping my arms from him, touching him on purpose was getting to me in the saddest way. Then he did the same and backed away from me, looking so confused and torn; just like me.