Autophobia [twincest]

[Golden's POV] [The Next Day]

"Golden..." Callie rubs his finger down my side, and I'm just too tired and limp to care. "Hey... you okay?"

What do you think? is what I want to say, but I gave up trying to talk to Callie at all a long time ago. There's no point in arguing or starting a fight with Callie. He'll always win, and when he doesn't win, he won't admit it.

"Golden..." I can feel the guilt radiating off of him as he leans over my shoulder and tries giving me his sorry puppy eyes. I look up at him and just stare.

"Don't look at me like that... please... it's not my fault..."

I look away from him. Like I said. He won't ever admit to it.

He starts grabbing my sides and squishing them between his fingers in a mix of a stroke and a tickle. He thinks doing this will cheer me up. It doesn't. All the tickling and stroking in the world won't change the mistakes he's made. His hands move up to my neck, and he pulls away my long hair from my neck before undoing the collar and leaning over and sucking on my flesh. His fingers run through my hair as he sucks.

I tolerate this, and I don't move. I don't care what Callie does to me. I'm his dog.

Callie pulls away and glares at me. "Why are you acting like this again?! I'm doing everything I can, Golden! I'm fighting so hard to please you, and this is what I get?! You're supposed to be pleasing me!" He growls when I don't give him a response. I just stare blankly out the window. "Puppy!"

I look at him and glare. "You insist on pissing me off, Cale?"

"I want you to look at me!" he whines. "And that's exactly it -- I've done nothing to piss you off!"

Fuck! Why does he insist on baiting me like this! I don't sit up -- I don't want to seem too angry, but I growl at him nonetheless. "You seriously think you should take no blame? Haley was a target because of you. Gabriel was separated from me because of you. You purposely waited for Haley to be subdued by your older brother, so that he'd be out of the picture, and you refused to allow Gabriel to return until it was too late, and he's long gone." My glare intensifies. There are so many things I can argue over, but Cale will always win. I look away from him then close my eyes. I give up. Cale doesn't have to say anything; I just give up.

 "There's no way I could have known Haley would become a target, and I seriously liked him, Golden! And Gabriel couldn't be with us. You know he'd be dead by now."

"That's not the point." I close my eyes and circle my finger in the air. "I would rather be with Gabriel right now then caught up in this whole mess. I shouldn't have stayed with you. I only did so because I trusted that Sirius would get Haley back, and now.... fuck! I lost my fucking twin, Cale." I glare at him for a moment before looking away and closing my eyes again. I droop over the edge of the couch, miserably sulking.

"I-" Cale sighs and sits back. I wait for him to say more and put up a huge fight. Maybe that's what I want a little.  But Cale doesn't say anything then gets off the couch and wanders into the other room. I don't follow after him.

Cale launches into another fit, and I swear Pom and Eskimo can hear it from the hallway. He breaks a window and destroys more than a few things while screaming. He's cut up the walls with Lucifer before, and he's probably doing it again. Then when his rage fades away, he collapses wherever he's at and pouts to himself before falling asleep.

"WHAT?!" Cale roars. "WHY WASN'T I TOLD SOONER?!"

I grunt and weakly groan, "Quiet...!" in my half-assed sleep. I hear stomping then suddenly Cale is on top of me, shaking me awake. "Wake up! Wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeup! GOLDEN!"

"WHAT?!" I shout, forcing my eyes open and staring at him. His own eyes are gleaming with happiness.

"Sirius said one of his members found Gabriel. He's staying in an apartment on the other side of town." He grins. "Isn't this fantastic news? Now we can bring Gabriel back-!"

I cover Cale's mouth, so he can shut up and let me process this news. He looks excited and happy, but I don't understand why. He doesn't care about Gabriel. He cares about making me happy, and he'll quickly get jealous of Gabriel. Yes... The real truth is I don't want Gabriel near Cale.

Yet Cale still beams at me, ready to try and please me and make me happy with him in a split second. His mouth would be running a thousand miles an hour if my hand wasn't covering it.