That Carter Kid

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~Flirting With The Good Girl~


Chapter11: That Carter Kid

*Jake Parkers*



Sometimes life doesn't seem worth living. What is there really to live for? Sometimes I wonder if people even need me -like what if I died right now, who would miss me?

Life is cruel, brutal, and unfair. But only to some. Why? Why can't everyone have a family who loves them? Someone you can trust and count on? Why do fathers have to come home drunk and cause havoc. Why do mothers give up and pretend you don't exist.

It's not fair.

I thought we were supposed to look up to our parents. I thought they were supposed to set an example and show you right from wrong.

And because of them I have to pick up their shit and live with their mistakes. They made me grow up before I had to. They ruined me.

And as another tear streams down my face, I allow myself to break down and give up on life -just for a while.

The pain feels like it swells up in my chest and it's just a matter of time before I explode. I ball my hands into fists and resist the urge to scream.

I'm not aware of my actions, but when I feel the immense pain in my hand, I look through blurred vision to see a hole in the wall, leaving my knuckles bloody.

I stagger back and fall into a heap on the ground. If someone asked me if I'd be okay with dying right now, I'd say yes. I can only take so much pain and soon I won't be able to stand it any longer.

I clench my bloody hand into a tight fist and squeeze my eyes tightly shut as I scream.

I scream and scream, hoping to release the pain.

"Hey, dude. Calm down! Jake, it's okay." I hear Garret's voice.

He's suddenly pulling me to my feet while trying to calm me down. "Breathe, Jake. It's going to be okay."

How do you know that, I wanna scream but I can't muster up the energy.

Garret pulls me to a sitting position and quickly begins to clean my hand.

I'm fighting the screams but the tears fall like rain in the tropics. I just wish I could release some of the pain, and the only way I can do that is by getting rid of Jase -for good.

I then see lights of a car shine in through my window and the sound of Carter's voice sounding panicked.

"Why is he here?" I say a bit harshly. Garret frowns and wipes away the rest of the blood on my hand. "Because he's your friend. He should be here."

"Just because I spazzed out doesn't mean you have to call the guys." I explain as I examine my hand.

"It's not just because you spazzed out. We've been afraid for you, Jake."

My bedroom door suddenly opens and Ethan and Carter both walk in with concerned expressions.

"Are you okay, Jake?" Carter asks sitting down next to me. I shrug and look down.

"You have to talk to us, Jake. You can't act like everything is okay all the time. Pretending just makes things worse." Ethan says taking a seat in my game chair.

"Then how else do I make myself feel better?" I mumble.

"By talking things out." Garret says.

"But talking doesn't help." I say irritated. They don't get it. "I don't know why people insist on talking about your feelings. It doesn't help. It only makes things worse or awkward. If you tell someone how you feel, they treat you like you're fragile and they step around you like a broken glass." I explain.

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