The Sex Goddess' First Love [Published under Sizzle]

Chapter Fifty Three

CHUPEPAY- Thank you sa bagong cover ng TSGFL :)

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"Sorry natagalan ako. Pinuntahan ko pa ang baby natin, mahal ko." I caressed his cheek with the back of my hand. He looked so calm and serene yet it hurts to see him like this. I wanted to see his eyes open. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to feel his touch again.  "They had him buried... we could visit him when you wake up. You know, I always thought he was a boy when I was still carrying him." I smiled, remembering the little time I had him inside me. "I imagine him looking like you, handsome as his daddy." 

"Three years old na sana siya ngayon. I'm sorry I haven't told you anything about him yet so I will now. I was six weeks pregnant when I found out about him. I guess that's why I was so moody. Palagi akong naiinis sa'yo pero palagi mo rin akong nilalambing." I let out a small gigle. I remember getting annoyed with him for the littlest things and I remember being insecure about everything.  He would always hug and kiss me until I feel better. He would always try to make me laugh when I'm in a bad mood. He had the patience of a saint with me. He understood me even when he didn't understand. 

"You were with Valerie that day. I waited for you the whole night... I was so excited to tell you that we were going to have a baby." I choked out. "But when you came back the next day,  you weren't the same. Gusto kong sabihin sa iyo ang tungkol sa baby natin pero ayaw mo akong kausapin. I'm not mad at you anymore, Tristan, I know everything now. You pushed me away to protect me."

"My biggest regret is I didn't tell you about our baby. Hindi mo man lang nalaman ang tungkol sa kanya nung nasa tiyan ko pa lang siya. If you knew about him, I know you would've loved him too." Kung nabuhay ang panganay namin alam kong magiging mabuti siyang ama. Hindi pa naman huli ang lahat. I knew he would love the baby I was carrying. He could still be a good father... if only he would wake up.

As the weeks went on, my stomach grew bigger and bigger. I still visit him everyday, I talk and talk to him. I talk about everything. I read books to him. I tell him how much I miss him, love him, need him. If I had to do it everday of my life, I would. I will never get tired of taking care of him just like how he never got tired of loving me.

"Hello, my beautiful wife." Nakaupo si Jason sa harap ng mini bar pag-uwi ko galing ospital. There was a bottle of alcohol in front of him and an empty glass. He poured himself another drink and down it in one gulp. He was about to pour himself another one when I took the bottle from him.

"Why are you drinking again?" I asked, looking at him angrily. Ito na ang pangatlong beses na naabutan ko siyang umiinom o lasing sa loob ng isang linggo. It wasn't good for him. Jason used to be an alcoholic. It worries me that he might slip back to his old habit.    

He shrugged his shoulders. "To celebrate our divorce." And then he chuckled. Last week I gave him the divorce paper to sign and he still haven't given it back to me. I already gave him his share that I promised. Inaayos na rin ang kaso ni Meredith para makalaya ito sa bilanguan. Wala ng dahilan pa para manatili kaming kasal. "Did you ever love me, Andi? Even just a little?"