Ursa Minor (On hiatus)

Catnip and Kryptonite

a/n: Dedicated to IanthonyLove for commenting and voting. Hope you like this update!

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Saturday evening and it was raining again. I had surrendered to the damp cold and was wearing my ordinary winter jacket. And knitted mittens, the kind that were uncool if you weren't cool enough yourself. But any other headgear than my hood was still a no go. I sprinted down the hill, quickly passing through the grove. Instead of turning left for the city center and the school I turned right. Trish lived down in the valley and I'd agree to meet up with her and the girls there. To get a lift to the party. Simon Burke and his brother Bevan lived on the edge of Oakland, where the streets and houses thinned out for a couple of miles before they grew denser again. Grew into Glenville.

I'd called Lisa before I left, like the perfect boyfriend I'd become. Hearing her voice had made me long for her. Had made me want to scrap all the part plans and go see her instead, bury my face in her shiny hair. And I told her so. 

"No, go with your friends," she'd answered kindly. "I trust you to behave." It was great she did of course, but I wasn't sure she should. Wasn't sure I trusted myself not to return to old habits. But it was too late to escape now. I was already on Trish's street. Times like these I missed my ipod more than usual. I'd lost it at a party much like the one we were heading to. It was great filling my head with music instead of thoughts at times when they otherwise ran rampant. Maybe I'd save up for a new one. I pulled the hood tighter, sprinted faster. Trying to shorten my messy mind's alone time, because right now I could do without it.

The houses down in the valley much like the houses on my street, Trish's house much like my own. But green. And with a neater garden. I'd thought I'd be late, but the girls were still waiting on the driveway. Waiting for Allen, who'd of course gentlemanly offered to be the designated driver. 'I didn't even have to ask!' Trish had boasted when she called me earlier. 

Kat immediately skipped up to meet me, winding her arms around my neck. "Eyy," she shrieked in my ear, "you're here!" 

"Is it your main goal in life to make me deaf? Or drive me insane?" 

"You're already crazy," Kat laughed, hugging me quickly. She had a nice laugh, big and un-girly.

I might have snapped but I actually liked Kat a lot. We were sort of the realistic people of our group, Trish and Mel the dreamers. Kat was sassy, sarcastic and always straight forward. Which I'd experienced first hand at a party earlier this year. Maybe I'd been a little bit drunk, maybe I'd made a move on her. She'd twisted my arm in some kind of feminist self defense super move.  

"We're not hooking up." She'd stated, after she'd made me beg her to let go. 

"Why not?" I'd asked stupidly, rubbing my sore elbow. Yeah, I'd probably been more than a little bit drunk. 

"Except the obvious reason that you until a couple of weeks ago dated my best friend?" 

"Whatever," I'd muttered, because that certainly hadn't stopped Trish and Adam from getting into each others pants the week before. Kat gave me a once over. A pityful one.  

"Like I'd do you, duh obviously, I'm not blind, but you're just so messed up. Like you only hook up to feel alive or something." 

My throat had suddenly felt incredibly tight. "Yeah," I'd choked out. 

Kat had squeezed my shoulder in an encouraging soccer coachy way. "I'll still be your friend, just don't grab my ass again, ok?"

I'd nodded and strengthened that friendship a week later by telling her she'd been right. Then I hadn't done much hooking up, until that last party at Nicole's. Where Lee had grabbed my face, looked me deep in the eyes, declaring I was way too sober. Where we'd ended up on the porch, passing a bottle of sour wine between us. Lee quietly looking at me me underneath his bands had made me nervous.