Porn is...satisfactory, entertaining, beautiful,, magnificent, stupid, excellent, and ridiculous. XD
Always carry pads, condums, and tampons
PORN IS LIFE!!!!!Everyone should watch it or read porn, it's just how it should be; don't deny it, don't question it, just accept it, and follow along.
The Secret Rape and Molest Mustsache Society is very important.
You are not a man until you do it with one.
People with glasses are AWESOME!!
Pants are for squares
All pedofiles must get the lisence to rape and molest
You must own a padofile mobile a.k.a. an ice cream truck
When you kill someone, always carry chalk to draw around their dead body because it is fun to draw the position they are in.
Asians are AWESOME! even half asians
You must fuck like a whore and scream for more or no sweet stuff and money. D:
Life is Worthless without tacos, mustaches, and SEX!!!
13th rule proves the comeback "that's what she said!" to be right.
Always suck the jelly out of a doughnut before eating the rest.
Don't ever let anybody babysit your fish for you:
Jim: Welcome back!! ^_^
Jim: I got some good news and bad news. :D
JIm: You know your fish. I was cleaning his bowl. *o*
Jim: And I accidently chopped him up in the blender. -_-
Tim: GASP! What's the good news? D:<
Jim: It tasted delicious!!! XD
17. Pleasure your phone vibrating:
JIm: Oh Yeah! That's good! -0-
JIm: Oh yeah, that's the spot!! >.<
Jim: Oh my God! Don't stop! MORE!!MORE!!YES!!YES!!! XD
jim: A blessing from God :3
Tim: I called you like ten times where the fuck is your phone? >:O
Jim: I don't know maybe you should call it.
18. Don't trust vegitarians:
Lady: Hey! That man stole my wallet!
PI: Don't worry me eats me spinach (eats spinach, muscles pop out)
Lady: Aren't you gonna get him?
PI: I don't believe in violence.
Lady: STUPID VEGITARIANS
18. Your not addicted to beer. IT'S ADDICTED TO YOU BECAUSE IT ALWAYS GOES TO YOUR MOUTH EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T WANT IT.
19. Ducktape fixes everything
20. Fill in the blanks:
Tanya wanted to borrow my ________. She got tired of playing with them and gave them to her little sister at the end of the day. I put the _______ back where it belonged. I wonder what they did with my_____________. Oh well I hope they had fun.
21. Be full of self-esteem
22. When someone doesn't say something right say, "Who taught you how to spoke?"
23. Don't study! It is hazardous to your health. Stu.=student and dy=dying put them together and studying is students die.
24. Shop at GAP. Gay Ass People.
25. Watch the human centipede movie.
26. DO YOUR HOMEWORK!! JK, fuck hw.
27. Make up a list of things that haunt you at night.
28. Tell somebody you like them. Share the love.
29. Get a pet rock and name him. They move they really do because mine ran away.
30. Walk around the mall and yell, "I love your doughnut holes/sticks! I want to eat them!"
31. Weiner balls are born from corndogs.
32. Get a dog and name him after a mexican dish. Like, "Come here Enchalada, Come on thata boy."
33. SMILE God loves you.
34. EVIL is LIVE spelled backwards
35.You learn off of your fails. FAILURE is awesome.
36. Santa Claus is a true Stalker
37. This book is the true BIBLE
38. Get awesome ass wallpapers for your phone that read stuff like:
Hello, I am your wallpaper and I will rape you:)
This is not a wallpaper this is my wife. Get your filthy hands off of her.
39. Don't say words don't hurt because they do if you lose in hangman
40. Suck a unicorn's horn for good luck if you are a porn star.
41. Never wear underwear when you are stripping.
42. Get a fake name if you are a stripper.
43. Always use a condum if your ass does not want to get prego
44. Always think twice before you fuck or make out with a random stranger you meet at a BAR!!
45. If your too fucked up and can't remember, here's a song:
A, B, C. It's easy as 1, 2, 3. And if you get with me and it burns when you pee, then you have HIV.....GET TESTED!!!!
46. If you are lesbian get with a hot girl.
47. Don't masterbate with a carrot unless you want to die.
48. make sure your wenis has a comdum. A wenis is your elbow and your wagina is on your arm on the other side of the elbow.
49. Run away from someone who farts.
50. Your body is like a nightclub, everybody gets in after two
51. laugh at peeps when they choke, then try to help them if they continue
52. When you stick your knee up someones butt, be careful not to lift their buttcheek
53. Bananas are magically delicious.
54. One point in your life, a unicorn will save you and you must rub their horns to thank them.
55. Dangerous farts are called FARTAS= Sparta+Fart
56. Carrots can kill you.
57. When you are sick you get gold mines.
58. If you wake up to find that you are part of a human centipede hope to be person A and not person B or C.
59. If you sneeze and nobody says bless you, pray, because you are now possessed and wil be taken to hell by the devil.
60. These are all words of wisdom