***As a note before you read this, Roxanne is my name. This was inspired by Jorge Luis Borges' piece, "Borges and I." Here's the URL to it if you want to read it:
I wrote this about my OCD and my association with it. Thanks for reading :)**
Roxanne and I
Roxanne is the one
that needs the world classified by rules.
I watch her put everything in her mental boxes
so she understands it,
so she stops being afraid of it.
She keeps me from sleeping at night
until everything in the room is its proper place.
She tells me I have to stop to make sure her wallet is organized
then by number code;
or that she won’t let me leave a single mark on something
and makes me spend hours cleaning it
to make it perfect.
I am forced to stand by and view
just how much her need for order
takes over my life.
I know her by her obsessive determination
to give every aspect of my existence a system
that she can follow and conquer.
Roxanne has her laws of nature,
and everything must follow them.
I see her
and I think she owns me.
All my emotions and wants have to fit to her logic,
or she will make me afraid
that the world will become chaos.
All of her fears
of the abstract,
of something she cannot control
become my terror.
She refuses to let go of anything,
so I every day I cannot live without having to think about living.