A/N: Why do I have this crazy habit? Why do I always want my Ziam to suffer pain?
"Let's break up Zayn!" I've never forgot that day, seriously I've never ever. That was the craziest decision I've ever made, it has hurted both me and Zayn a lot.
We just didn't work out. Us together, they would call gay. I don't want to hurt my family, my friends, the management when I tell them this, and I know Zayn will be hurted easily by the others' words. We're not like everybody else. We can't just ignore people, we live for them after all, we can't be selfish, we can't... But once again, I have to state, I regret breaking up with Zayn.
I don't know what to do, seeing Liam standing there talking to his girlfriend, Danielle. It hurts me a lot, the time he said he wanted to break up with me, I thought I still had a chance of winning him back, until a week after that, he said that he and Danielle had officially got back to each other...
I always tell myself that Liam wasn't a jerk who would dump someone for someone new, but my head keeps on saying Liam picked Danielle over me because she's a girl, and as my head does that, my heart keeps on beating louder, encouraging me to fight for this love. But still, how could I? I have no right. And I'm not even sure if Liam likes me or it's just him playing with my silly feeling.
I still remember that day, the day I first met the love of my life, Liam Payne. We became great friends after that, but I know in my heart, Liam was a really special person and he was more than a brother to me. And that moment in life when I had enough courage to tell Liam how I feel about him, that brown eyes of his looking at me, that hands of his holding my face, and that kiss we first exchanged. It's flavour, it's sweetness, I just couldn't resist him, and the last thing I know, I fell in deep love with him.
It hurts me to think back on the day we broke up. I didn't know he was serious, yes he has always been a serious person, but I thought this love we shared was unbreakable. And then he just left me and before I knew it, he had moved on... If only I had held him tighter. If only I had told him how much he is loved. If only I could turned back time...
I want to kill myself, litterally. I want Liam to know how much he had affected me, how much I hurt. What he had done to me, I want him to live in pain. I want him to look at my picture and apologize me. But deep down inside I know that apology is not accepted, will never be accepted. He hurted me, and that's the price he must pay...
"Are you ok, Zayn?" Danielle shakes my shoulders, pulling me back to reality.
I look up and notice Liam is eyeing on me, looking quite worried. I sadly stare into his brown eyes, they are so gorgeous. "I'm fine, at least I think I'm fine."
We stare at each other for a period of time when Liam looks away. "Ok then mate, take care. I'll take Danielle back to her apartment now. Let's go Danielle!"
Why is it always be Danielle? Why can't it be me? At that moment he walked out of my life, out of my sight, I know that I can never do anything to hurt him.
Zayn got a new tattoo. I heard about it right after I returned from Danielle's flat. Zayn always gets a new tattoo when something very happy or sad happens. This time I think it is more of a disappointment. I know I had let him down, I know he is still in love with me. But that's for the best. The longer our relationship lasts, the more painful Zayn will get. I don't want it to happen. I want Zayn to be... who he is. I know Zayn is not a bad boy, and for sure... not - couldn't - be a gay. He's caring and sensitive and loving. I love him, and I know what's best, at least I think I know.
"Hey Liam. I want to ask about Zayn." Niall hesitates. He's never been like this. Has something happened?
"What is it mate?" I ask, trying not to sound so worried.
"Last night I saw Zayn brought a drunk man home. He looks quite... y'know, unreliable... So I was wondering if Zayn-"
"No Niall. He's not. And don't ask those sily questions!" I cut him. I can't stand it when someone doubt Zayn was gay, even if it was my best friend.
|Louis Tomlinson||as himself|
|Zayn Malik||as himself|
|Harry Styles||as himself|
|Liam Payne||as himself|
|Niall Horan||as himself|