A Studious Affliction [Ziam] [Student/teacher]

Chapter Twenty-Three.

oh my goodness what did i just write i am so sorry please forgive meee

i'm so embarrassed

don't look at me

(sorry if you don't like possessive!liam but hey ho, that's just his character in this story sometimes. What can you do?)

Dedicated to aleeyaxo for a few genius comments throughout this story. You make me laugh.

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The next day at school, I feel hungover. And that's because - well, because I am. Harry and my mother got on last night so well and they bonded over making fun of me, which was surprising, considering Harry is usually the one being nice to me. I guess it's all about first impressions, though.

Dinner was... different. I hated it and never did my skin stop glowing red. Thinking back on last night, I can't stop blushing, and it's mostly because of guilt; I couldn't stop thinking about Liam every time Harry would touch me or do anything to help me convince my mum I was his boyfriend, and I kept thinking how it should have been Liam there, doing those things. For real.

So, whilst I was inevitably drowning in embarrassment last night, it was the guilt that got to me - is still getting to me. And I had to tell Harry. Who told me to talk to Liam today. Before school.

And so, that's what I'm going to do.

After walking to school (it's cold and damp, and I hate myself for not having a car but I'm afraid I'll crash and kill everybody that is alive - and dead), I quickly make my way into the building with my heart thumping faster than I would care to admit, and my limbs feeling weak and awkward. I judder to a sudden stop outside Liam's classroom and exhale slowly, then inhale, then exhale, and-

"What are you doing?" says the man of the hour.

I jump violently and bang my head into the wall, crying out from shock and pain before whipping my head to look at him; Mr. Payne is standing to the right of me, all sex and - and perfection. There is a small smirk pulling at the corner of his lips and he has an eyebrow raised, and I want to melt from the sheer sexiness of him and the utter relief that his presence has brought me. "M-Mr. Payne," I say suddenly; my voice sounds odd and jerky, even to myself. "I thought you'd be..."

"Inside?" Mr. Payne steps past me, pulling a jumble of keys out of his pocket and unlocking the door. He pushes it open, steps inside, then looks back at me. "Well, now I am. And now you can come in."

Stepping through the doorway seems like some sort of barrier that I'm about to break - then again, pretending to date Liam's best friend is a line I never should have crossed but I have, anyway. So, I enter the room and hesitantly shut the door, feeling calm. Which is not a good thing. It's the kind of calm that means you're a ticking time bomb; kind of like Liam now, and the way he is looking at me, all composed and polite but really he's going to explode soon enough.

"Liam," I start, "I - I'm sorry, I didn't... I feel so bad about what-" So much for feeling calm. My eyes are already tearing up. "You have no idea how crap I feel and I... I just wish that we could... that my mum could know..."

Liam, however, doesn't seem interested. "How did dinner go?" he asks. He's shuffling paper in his hands, not even looking at me, and a frown presses down heavily on my features. "I haven't spoken to Harry yet, so I wouldn't know."

"It was... fine." I pause, wondering if he sounds as bitter as I think. "Actually, I hated it. All I could keep thinking about was how bad I felt and that I wished you were there, and- and that I never should have agreed to it."