Fixing You

Chapter 4- Shaun

Shaun's POV

"Please don't be angry," Adam whimpered.

Whimpered.

How could I not be angry? They'd done it again. Those low life scumbags made Adam feel scared, made him feel threatened. It made me sick that they took their homophobia out on Adam, but wouldn't dare approach me. This time, someone had written 'FAG' across Adam's locker. Why did Adam have to be the vulnerable one? Why should he have to put up with all this crap just because he wasn't 'popular'?

Oh, yeah, that's right. Because of me.

Adam didn't want people to know about us. He never wanted to come out to the school. Not because of the abuse he would get- Adam was already openly gay. No, it was because he was worried about me. He didn't want to risk my popularity by telling everyone I was gay, but I had convinced him otherwise. I was prepared for the insults that would be hurled at me. I didn't care, I just didn't want to have to hide Adam anymore.

So why did Adam have to suffer through everything I was supposed to go through? Every day, one of my ex-friends would cruelly mention something to Adam about how he had turned me gay, or infected me, or brainwashed me. Basically, they were saying that I was a mindless drone who couldn't think for himself.

What pissed me off more than even the abuse itself was Adams reaction. He didn't seem in the least bit bothered. He spent his time trying to calm me down, and sometimes even went as far as defending the bastards. Usually I was able to refrain from shouting at Adam, but on that day I couldn't.

"How can I not be angry, Adam?" I hissed. "You're being harassed and you won't let anyone do anything about it!"

I instantly felt guilty when I saw Adam flinch at my harsh tone. I sighed and sat beside him on my bed, immediately pulling him close. I didn't want him to be scared of me. He had to know that I wouldn't hurt him, ever. Otherwise I would be just as bad as the homophobic pricks at school.

Adam was silent as he rested his head on my shoulder. I kissed the top of his head. "I'm sorry for getting mad at you," I murmured softly. "I just wish you'd let me do something about those jerks."

Adam pulled away to look in my eyes. "What good would it do, Shaun? You know they'll never stop. The only thing we can do is ignore them until we finally get out of school. Then we'll never have to see them again." I smiled as he perked up at this idea. "Oh my God, Shaun, we won't see them ever again!"

I didn't have the heart to remind him that homophobia didn't stay in the school yard. He was just so happy- but I couldn't let him distract me from what was really important.

"Adam..." I began, watching him carefully. He pouted, knowing what was coming next. "You're right, it would be great if we could just ignore them. But they're bullying you, Adam. That's serious. If we just tell the principal or something, I'm sure-"

I was interrupted by Adam's snort. "Honestly, Shaun. What are you, five? We can't just tell on them. The principal might be able to tone down everything in the school, sure, but outside-" 

He cut himself off suddenly, and his eyes widened as he realised what he had revealed.

"Adam..." I said slowly.

"Uh oh. You're doing the calm thing. You're never calm when you use that voice. That voice means you're actually really angry..."

"Adam," I repeated. "I'm only going to ask this once. Have they done anything to you outside of school?"

His silence told me everything.

I stood up and paced up and down my bedroom. I could sense Adam watching me from the bed, trying to gauge exactly how angry I was.