Two weeks, and four towns over, but at last Amy found a house she could live in, in a town she didn’t hate. Buying the house had dented our funds so it was time to stop acting like roaming idiots, and get back to being the demon hunters that we were. Well I was anyway, Soji, and Emiko seem like their people collected demons not hunted them. Then there was Amy, and Rai. I couldn’t ask either one of them to come kill demons for money with me.
Sitting at the table with the others I poked around my plate moving the food around to make it look like I was eating. Glancing up from my plate Soji was across the table from me talking. and laughing with Emiko. His words that night still echoed inside of my mind. He loved me, other then my family no one has ever loved me before. Any girlfriend I ever had never got serious enough for them to love me. Ban was the first boy I was ever with. Ban didn’t love me, he wanted to own me. To control and punish me. My stomach flipped when I remembered Mother Fate words. She suggested that I loved Ban. How could you love what you hate? How can you hate what you love?
Shaking my head I needed to clear the unnecessary things away. I was a demon. and demons love no one but themselves. Soji couldn’t love me because Soji didn’t know me well enough to love or hate me. Having sex a few times didn’t mean we had to declare our undying wills to one another. If sex was love then I belonged to Ban, and he to me. Closing my eyes I needed to get my head in the game. Thinking about love wasn’t going to keep a roof over our heads or food on our table.
“What’s our next move?” Emiko asked, and I could feel their eyes one me. What did that mean, they were all looking at me waiting on me. Was I the leader now, now that Shu was gone was it up to me to decide? We needed a job, we needed the credits. From now on their lives were in my hands. What I decided would be what we did. What did I know about leadership skills? I sat in the back of the class and kept my mouth shut, and head down when I went to school. I wasn’t the kid that did sports or wanted to be on the student council. I ran from responsible never truly owning up to my own faults. I wasn’t the person they wanted to follow. I would lead them all to their deaths. Just as I lead Shu to his.
The thought of Shu sober me. For the first time in two hundred years I felt like the same lost scared boy I was when I died. So many what if’s came to mind. What if I picked the wrong demon? I kept asking myself that. What if I lead us to another trap? What if I got us all killed? I didn’t want to lose anyone else. I didn’t want to lose the few people I had left in this world. I might didn’t understand my feelings for Soji, but I knew I wanted him to stick around.
“We need to hunt, we need credits if we are going to live.” I said still looking down at my plate. I knew that as a leader I could look at them when I spoke, but I wasn’t feeling very in charge right now. I didn’t have to worry about them finding out what I was. This team knew what I was. I would be able to fight at full strength each time. There was still only three of us though. I knew Soji was a white mage, but I didn’t know how skilled he was with his powers. As for Emiko other then having huge boobs, and a need to grab Rai breast randomly I knew nothing about her. She was over protective of Soji. I knew that, but what good would that do us.
“I’m going with you all.” Rai said, and my head snapped up, and I looked at her. She had a serious look on her face as if her mind was made, and nothing was changing it. She was like Shu in that way. Once her mind was made not even death would derail her. My head turned to Amy who was just sitting there. Surely she heard what her daughter just said. She couldn’t let Rai go. It was crazy to even think I would allow. Right after Shu death as well. Shu never wanted Rai to be a part of this life.