why me dad????

It was a Saturday afternoon, I was 10 years old and soon to start high school. I was lay in bed something was bothering me, I don’t know what but something must have been bothering me,I was crying so much. I must have been sobbing loudly as my mum came in to see what was up, I said I didn't know as I genuinely didn't but my mother wasn't having none of this and asked if it was about wanting to see my real dad. Knowing she wouldn't rest until I gave an answer I replied "yes" knowing this wasn't true. I had recently found out my dad as I knew him was in fact my step dad and my paternal father had left when I was two weeks old. My mother said I could start seeing my biological father but it would have to be during the 6 week holidays before high school as she didn't want to upset my school work. I accepted this, as let's face it I wasn't really that bothered about seeing him in the first place but I knew I couldn't tell my mother this as that was the apparent reason I was crying.
The school holidays came and I remember the first time I went to his house on a Saturday morning like it was yesterday. I sat at the window waiting for him with my big brother who had always seen our paternal father since he left. Philip my biological father didn't make much effort to talk to me but I had two beautiful little sisters I guessed they were around 5 years old and instantly bonded with them. I was to spend the whole day at Philip’s house as I called him after all I already had my dad at home who had been my dad since I was 2. Philip didn't talk to me much throughout the day although he didn't dismiss me completely he tickled me and made little remarks on how grown up I had become. I found the tickling and remarks a little strange seeing as he hadn't seen me since I was 2 weeks old and he made no effort to get to know me as a person, as his daughter. I spent most of the day playing with and getting to know my new little sisters. We returned home that evening at around 7pm from what I can remember although the time changed every week. Returning home my mum asked how it was and I said “fine” she seemed to accept this and I went on with my normal evening. It seemed the same outcome at every visit with Philip for the first two or three weeks although the tickling became more constant which made me feel quite uncomfortable.
It was around the 4th or 5th visit when I recall Philip asking me to make him a cup of tea, I immediately obeyed as I was a well behaved child at this stage. As I was making the cup of tea all of a sudden Philip appeared behind me very close behind me, all too close to my liking and I immediately felt scared and uncomfortable although I didn't know why at the time. It was only a matter of seconds however before I did know why, Philip touched me between the legs, I immediately froze, scared and not sure what was happening as I was still only 10 years old. I eventually finished the cup of tea as though on autopilot and turned and handed it to him which broke his hand from my privates. I walked off into the living room embarrassed and not quite sure of what to do, I spent the rest of the day playing with my sisters and blocked the whole experience out almost instantly. I was relieved when it was time to go home and when I got in a relaxed, the thought of telling my mum and dad had crossed my mind but sheer embarrassment and shame stopped me so I had no valid reason to stop going to Phil's house.
The next weekend came around all too quick for my liking but as I had no excuse as to why I couldn't go I went as I had every other week. The cup of tea and touching became a regular routine and came to dread the words “make me a cup of tea” coming from Phil's mouth. It can only have been a matter of weeks 5 at the most since the first touching episode when I was lay on the bed upstairs hoping to stay out of Phil's way so he couldn't ask for any more cups of tea. Sadly this wasn't the case as he came into the bedroom, I froze unable to find the strength in me to do something. Phil pulled my legs off the bed so only the top half of my body was on the bed and hastily opened my jeans and placed his fingers inside me, I barely winced from the searing pain as I was in total shock. Suddenly he jumped up and walked out of my sisters room, I realised this was because someone was coming up the stairs. In walked my little sister Ashley sweet as ever she came in and asked me to go and play with her, I replied