Just My Life

A Hand-Full Of Nat

Jake’s POV:

So I found out that the illusion does change your traits that Sheila was too nice to turn Nat into a flying monkey and that Nat was so dumb she couldn’t remember Adler.

I bet she even forgot how to read his mind, because apparently she can’t follow people energy either.

I wasn’t being fair, I know I mean, maybe something is telling her not to tell? That would be okay, it means he’s not a threat. Nat is still young… but she's growing up fast.

I’m not like one of the sappy mothers or fathers that are like ‘oh my god! She’s growing up so fast’ because Nat IS growing up fast. She’s a four year old that acts like a teenager. That cannot be good sign.

The fact that so much has happened… she swears, she won’t sleep at her bed time… she spends all her time watching Tracey Beaker. She’s even going to watch Tracy Beaker Returns when she’s finished The Story of Tracey Beaker.

She’s starting to act like her as well. And if you know who Tracy Beaker is, you can truly sympathise what I’m going through. She’s a total nightmare!

Nat came storming in to the room in one of her tantrums. She was screaming with her fingers in her ears and pretending not to listen to someone.

Then Timmy came running in. “Nat! WOULD YOU HUST LISTEN TO ME?” he screamed right into her ear. She took her fingers out and stared at him.

“I didn’t know about this! Okay, I didn’t know about anything. If I couldn’t speak to the dead I never would have guessed. I just don’t get why you’re angry at me! What did I ever do to you? Tell me”

“You never cared Timmy, no one ever cared” she whispered. She sounded defeated; she looked like she didn’t know what to do with her life anymore.

She sat on a manifested sofa, and curled up in a foetal position. “I just want everyone to leave me alone. I want my old life back, where I could steal money off my dad making him think we were having breakfast and go buy sweets instead. I want to prank the guy from the corner shop and annoy him ‘till my belly hurts from laughing.” She said droopily her next word were barely incoherent “I want my brother”

I sat next to her on the sofa, wanting to comfort her, when she felt the bed dip, she edged away further into the corner, and hid her face into her knees.

That was when I realised something. The illusion was just an illusion. It didn’t actually change her traits. She was just putting a mask so that she could fit in. but deep down, she’s still a fragile four year old who needs her mommy when she gets home from nursery, or someone to kiss her boo-boo when she got hurt.

I ignore her squirming and crushed her in a hug. I was seriously trying to project the love I hold towards her, to her. She needed to understand that she was more important to me then even maybe my own flesh and blood. I would sacrifice anything for her.

I realised that I was still crushing her and let go quickly. She started at me and looked like she was going to cry.

She sniffled a bit, and then hugged me again, clinging desperately to me, as if she didn’t want to let go.

What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

The question repeated mercilessly in her mind. What does she do for what?

She was still clinging onto me, and I slowly felt warmth in the place where my heart was. It was getting warmer and warmer… and when she pulled away, it became cold. No, not cold, freezing.

I looked down and I saw that Nat had cried on my shirt. I moaned a little and looked at her, she was on the verge of getting another vision, but I need to talk to her.

“Nat, snap out of it! I need to tell you something, seriously”

Her head snapped in my direction so quickly, I thought it was a miracle she didn’t get a whiplash. I winced at the thought while Nat just stared blankly at me. “What were you thinking of?” I whispered softly.

“Nu’in” she mumbled and stood to get up. She manifested some clothes onto her body, white skinny jeans, a black tank top and black converses.

She looked so cute in it, seeing how tiny they were. This girl would pass as a two year old, going three. She was so small for her age.

“Where are you goin’?” I asked discreetly.

“None of your bees wax mom” she snorted. Back to her old teenage self.

I sighed sadly and turned around to see Timmy still standing at the door way of the room.

“Don’t you have an Inc. to take over?” I snapped bitchily at him. He raised his arms in front of him defensively and turned slowly away.

I grunted in frustration. Why did my life have to be so complicated?

My phone vibrated in my pocket and Adler’s name came up. “’hello” I spoke, wanting to get this over with.

“Did you know Emily was Nat’s protector?”

“Nat needs a protector?”

“Apparently she does, since Emily got a message today in the mail saying that she was Nat’s protector… this was 6 months ago”

“Oh, no wonder she was screw facing me first time we met.”

“And that was why she never did anything when Gemma complained to us”

“she obviously knew what Nat was like, she’s the frikin’ devil in disguise… come to think of it, she and Nate would have been the perfect match… unfortunate-”

“Not now Jake!” he mumbled, he sounded really distressed.

“What’s wrong dude? So your sister’s a protector, believe me, she’s really intimidating.”

“That’s not it dude, it’s the fact that Nat needs a protector in the first place… something must be really serious”

“I didn’t think of that… look we’ll just hope for the best, but expect the worst cuz life’s a bitch like that”

“You better keep a close eye on that girl; cuz if somethin’ happens to her, Emily will beat your mom’s ass”

“I know, I know, calm down dude, nothin will happen to her, she’s bloody scary, and who knows what she can do now, right? Wasn’t it when you’re scared you do some crazy shit?”

“Sure but Nat’s fearless, you need to think of that too ya know.”

“Puh-lease, no one is fearless, there are people that bottle up their fear, and people that are just plain stupid, but that’s it, because everybody has fear.”

“All I heard was ya-di-da-di-da”

“Are you plotting with Nat or somethin’?!” I shrieked down the phone “is swear, you and Nat are trying to piss me off! Don’t piss me off!”

“Keep your pants on women!”

“You know what. I’m going to hang up no-”. Beep, beep, beep, beep.

I stared at the phone. “Bitch hung up on me!” I called him again. “Hello”

“Hey”

“You don’t hang up on me! I hang up on-” beep, beep, beep, beep.

“You know what” I said out loud to myself, “no. just no”

I shook my head and gave myself a WTF look. What am I doing taking care of a four year old that acts like a spoilt teenager?

There is a reason I’m didn’t go to Sheila saying, ‘hey I just got the greatest idea, let’s have babies!’ I don’t want to be a teenage father! For god’s sake I’m fifteen.

I don’t need all this! This was too much for me to handle, Nat was too much for me to handle.

But whether she was a handful of sunshine, or a handful of bitch, I never would have killed her.